Read Fry Me a Liver for Free Online

the hall.
    â€œYou got any enemies, Sandy?” I asked as I felt above my head, like I was doing the wave.
    â€œOnly pigs, cows, and chickens,” she said.
    â€œBetter than moose and squirrel,” I remarked, not sure anyone would get my Rocky and Bullwinkle reference or would be in a frame of mind to laugh even if they did. I was just trying to amuse myself; it was either that or be really, really terrified.
    There was nothing above my head and, with my hands still above me, I started to get to my feet. That was when my fingers touched exposed iron. I stopped. It was slanted down, toward where Thom was lying. I touched it gingerly, felt around it. Powdery shmutz came flying off and I turned my eyes away. Not that I could see anything in the pitch dark; I just didn’t want to get anything in them. I resumed my search and felt something that made me very, very unhappy. It was rubber. With treads.
    A vehicle was sitting above us. That answered the question about what had plugged the rabbit hole into which we’d tumbled. Strangely calm, I moved my fingers along the tire toward one side until I reached a bent exhaust pipe. Simultaneously, I listened for some kind of dripping sound, trying to determine whether the gas tank had been punctured. I didn’t hear anything, didn’t smell anything, was hopeful that it wasn’t quietly running down the chassis. It occurred to me then to step back, out from under it. I did so by feeling behind me with my feet. Inside my head, I heard Thom’s voice saying, “Lawsy.” I wondered if she’d somehow sent the thought, that there were other people. I was going to have to circle around quickly and make certain that everyone else was out from under it, including anyone who might be unconscious. As I began walking sideways, feeling my way with the side of my right foot, I heard another sound I wasn’t happy to hear: a groaning from the direction I knew the walk-in refrigerator to be. I took some comfort in the distant voices, not just because it meant that there were people up there but because whatever happened had apparently been localized in and around the kitchen.
    I reached Thom first. Or rather, my foot did. I knocked into what felt like the top of her head. I heard heavy breathing and said her name.
    â€œI’m here,” she told me in gasps.
    â€œOkay—just relax as best you can.”
    She wheezed in response.
    I felt above her. There was a fender. “Thom, is there anything on top of you?”
    â€œThe kitchen table, I think,” she replied.
    â€œI’m going to try and move you before God gets around to throwing the kitchen sink,” I said.
    â€œDon’t—don’t blaspheme,” she said with a wince in her voice.
    â€œSorry.”
    â€œGwen? Is that you?”
    I stopped moving. “Candy?”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œAre you all right?”
    â€œI don’t know.”
    â€œDo you have your phone?” I asked.
    â€œNo,” she said. “I was coming back to ask you about something.”
    â€œYou left your phone somewhere?” I said. Whenever I saw her, on the air or off, that thing was glued to her palm.
    â€œI did,” she said defensively.
    And then I understood. “You left it recording, hoping to catch Ms. Pearl saying something damaging.”
    She was silent. That was uncommon so I was obviously correct.
    Ah, Candy , I thought. Even without the tricks, and entirely by chance, the newshound finally had her big right-place, right-time story.
    â€œAre you in any pain, danger?” I asked.
    â€œI’m pinned, but I seem to be intact.”
    â€œAll right—sit tight.”
    â€œI had my phone but it seems to have fallen from my pocket,” Sandy said. “I’m trying to find it. Tough to do that by feel.”
    I didn’t bother to ask Luke for his phone. By mandate from the boss, he kept it in his jacket on the coatrack. I did that so