taking this all wrong. Cressida wasnât being bitchy,â Claude reassured me. âShe wants us all to be friends. She just has a few issues with the, er, darker side of your aura.â
âDarker side of my aura? But Iâve been really nice to her!â I said vehemently. âIâm always nice to her.â
Why was I defending myself to my two best friends?
âAwww, Ronnie, chill out,â Fleur laughed, leaping over and giving me a hug. âWeâre not getting at you. Itâs not that big a deal.â
âThatâs right, Ronnie,â whispered Claude, grabbing my hand. âDonât get upset. Itâs just that, well, you have to admit Cressida must be lonely spending every lunch hour studying in the library.â
âAnd when we invited her to eat with us,â continued Fleur, âshe said . . . well, she said she didnât want to increase the bad vibes.â
âThere arenât any bad vibes!â I said.
âWe know,â said Fleur. âItâs just a silly misunderstanding.â
âYâknow what Cressidaâs likeâsheâs just really sensitive,â Claude said rather fondly. âLet me talk to her.â
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One week later, with our âsilly misunderstandingâ ironed out, the LBD swept into Blackwellâs lunch hall with Cressida Sleeth tottering daintily in our wake. Claude and Fleur were soooo happy. We had truly been honored, in their eyes. They didnât raise an eyebrow when Cressida rejected 99 percent of the food offered because of her lacto intolerance, wheat allergies or vegetarian beliefs. Or when she bitched at Dolly the dinner lady about the âseventy-two different pesticides on a nonorganic apple,â or moved us from our usual LBD lunch table by the window because direct sunlight made her âsneezy.â She even began telling us how her dad worked alongside Panama Goodyearâs father at the pharmaceutical factory and that sheâd started playing tennis with her!
âWow! Weâll get all the insider gossip on Panama and her gang,â laughed Fleur. âItâll be like having a double agent!â
âHow cool is that?â beamed Claude, who Iâd never had down as prize chump before.
As Fleur yaddered excitedly about the invites sheâd bagged for all four of us to Miles Boonâs birthday party, I pushed mashed potato around my plate, trying to appear chock-full of happy-happy-joy-joy vibes. This worked at first, but when the conversation flipped over to Cressida and Claudeâs jam-packed study schedule, I started to feel rather hot and nauseated.
Because things suddenly became crystal clear.
Fleur Swan was one of the most beautiful, well-known girls at Blackwell School (after Panama Goodyear, of course, who is stunning yet clinically evil). Claudette Cassiera was the brainiest, most dedicated GCSE coach a pupil like Cressida could desire.
Of course Ms. Sleeth wanted to hang with them both. But what did I have to offer?
Nothing.
Suddenly I was on very shaky ground.
I was being phased out.
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âWell, she sounds like a right manipulative little madam!â Nan says, throwing handfuls of plump sultanas into the mixing bowl. âThereâs one around every corner, unfortunately. What happened next?â
âIt got worse,â I say. âMuch worse.â
the witch
February came around way too quickly.
Now, you could barely go five minutes at Blackwell without a teacher bumming your life out with a GCSE reminder.
Thankfully, however, Mistress Minny III: The Witches of Philadelphia was finally hitting cinemas that Friday the 13th, and the LBD had a big girlie night out planned. Claude just loves Mistress Minny. She has read all the books ten times over and lurks about on the web message boards analyzing subplots and symbolism. What a geek! She even harangued Fleur and me to dress up like Mistress Minny for the