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white, black, red, brown, blue, Russian blue,
yellow, ochre. Yes, the word can go a long way.
     
    One
of my first duties on my recovery was to introduce Clerval to several
professors. I introduced him to several Professor Waldman. In the absence of
the other several professors, he will do. They have taken everything out of my
laboratory — several noses, sets of false teeth, twelve legs, six vials of
blood, twelve feet of veins, some spare kidneys, and a bottle of tomato sauce,
etc. They were charging me 10 Marks a minute rent so I had to rush in, stay for
three minutes, and rush out again. It was the only way I could afford it.
    I
writhed under Professor Waldman’s words of praise but dared not exhibit the
pain I felt. Clerval curled up on the floor in front of me, his legs behind his
head, and said, ‘This puts me in a very difficult position.’ My sin in the back
of my mind was that of a monster with his trousers down.
    Mr
Krempe was quite docile — I kept him on a lead. He was given to bursts of
speech. ‘Damn the fellow,’] cried he. ‘Why Mr Clerval has outstripped us all.
He’s a youngster who but a few years ago believed in Cornelius Agrippa, the
Gem, the Hotspur and Boys’ Own .’
    Mr
Krempe now commenced to eulogise. He did it in a bush. Clerval had never
sympathised with my tastes for natural science. He came to university to master
the Oriental languages.
    The
Persian, Arabic and Sanskrit — what a waste! No one in Switzerland spoke them
and for the rest of his life he would have to talk to himself in one of these
three languages. There were only three works of the Orientalists: the Omar
Khayyam Ice Cream Factory, the King Durius Sewage Works and the Sheik Hussein
Laundry.
    Summer
passed away, having been delayed by several accidents: (1) I was run over by a
train; (2) I fell over a cliff and (3) I fell down a well. The roads were
deemed impassable with snow.
    During
the month of May I expected the letter daily which was to fix the date of my
departure. As I was still down a well I found it very hard to answer. Henry
proposed a pedestrian tour in the environs of Ingolstadt and I acceded with
pleasure to this proposition: I was fond of exercise but not that bloody fond.
In the end it was to prove too strenuous for me. My health deteriorated; I
tried very hard. I was taken for the salubrious air of the Alps but when I
breathed it I fainted. In a few days I recovered.
    Henry
rejoiced in my gaiety and I started to yodel. He exerted himself to amuse me:
he would juggle three bags °f flour, he stood on his head and yodelled the
‘William Tell Overture’, he played the banjo and danced. He could make himself
disappear; this he did by the simple expedient of leaving the room. His
conversation was full of imagination. He spoke in Persian and Arabic; that was
Wonderful, but I didn’t understand a bloody word. He repeated my favourite
Wordsworth poem:
     
    I wandered lonely as a cloud
    That drifts aloft over dales and
hills
    And all at once I came upon
    My dog being sick on the
daffodils.
     
    Clerval
believed the world was flat, but he kept trippin over it.
    We
returned to our college on a Sunday afternoon: the peasants were dancing and
hurling each other off cliffs into the lake. It was an old custom and they
never tired of it, except those who drowned. My own spirits were high and I
bounded along with feelings of unbridled joy and hilarity. From a great
distance my family could see me bounding with unbridled joy and hilarity.

CHAPTER
VII
     
     
     
    On
my return I found the following letter from my father:
     
    My
dear son.
    You
expect a happy and glad welcome and a box of gift-wrapped suppositories for
your haemorrhoids. Well fuck your luck. But how can I relate our misfortune?
William is dead! — di diddly I di — dead; he has stopped yodelling. One day he
went for a walk but did not return. We searched for him until night fell and
then we returned to the house. About five in the morning I discovered