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backward hat. “Show me what you see up there, Star Girl.”
    My pulse stutters and then tries to catch up. “Really?”
    Nathaniel shrugs. “Sure. Whatever.”
    I’m not sure if it’s something he really wants, but he asked me and so I do. I start off easy and show him the big dipper. I move to Orion and Pegasus and on and on. I don’t know how interested he is, but he at least pretends to be. He asks questions and looks at each one and listens to me talk.
    “So is it the scientific aspect you like?”
    I almost say no, but change it to, “Both. It’s fascinating, but I also love the legends and stories. I like that it’s so…well, space and stars could be anything.”
    “That’s cool,” Nathaniel replies.
    When he first showed up, I thought that was one of my moments, but it has nothing on right now. How it feels to just sit back and talk about something I like without feeling guilty for it or like I’m some stupid kid. Dad doesn’t understand loving anything but The Village, Sadie only loves herself, and Mom just doesn’t get me. Alec would listen, but it’s different.
    Soon we've abandoned the telescope, and we’re just talking about stars, and then The Village, and it feels different to talk to someone on the outside of everything. I don’t tell him how it feels like it’s suffocating me, but I wonder if he knows.
    An hour and then two passes by. There’s a pause in the conversation and I realize I’ve been blabbing forever. That’s not me; especially not with someone I don’t really know. “Sorry. I talked a lot. You probably didn’t expect me to say so much.”
    “I asked. Duh.” But he leans to the side and nudges me with his shoulder. “I’m kidding.”
    “I better go,” I reply, even though I don’t really want to.
    “Yeah. Me too.”
    He helps me pack up the telescope and then stands. I move to get up and realize he was holding his hand out to help me, but I missed it. I’m glad it’s dark so he can’t see me blushing. “Sorry.”
    Instead of replying, he says, “I’ll walk back with you.”
    We’re quiet as we walk back to the cabins. The whole time my heart is beating like crazy and I’m way more exited than I should be, just from walking next to a boy.
    When we’re close both of us stop. “Thanks for hanging out,” I whisper.
    “No problem. I’m kind of a night owl.”
    “Oh,” I say. We’re just standing there and it shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is. I wish I was older. And more like Sadie Ann so that I could lean forward and like kiss him or something, just because I want to. If I were Sadie Ann, maybe I could totally know if he wanted to kiss me, too. I am completely lost. I’m sure she’d kissed lots of boys by the time she was fifteen.
    “See you later,” I say.
    I make it ten steps away, yes, I counted, when his voice stops me. “Wanna do it again tomorrow night?”
    My smile is so huge I know I’ll look like the biggest loser in the world if I turn around, so I don’t. “Yeah,” I say. “Yeah, I do.”

That was how it began, our summers of sneaking out and watching the stars. Where we shared our secrets with each other and the night. We’d meet in secret and sometimes sit in my favorite spot. Other times, we’d head down the lakeside and I would pretend we could walk forever. I think I was really the one pretending and Nathaniel just listened. I wanted those summer walks with that summer boy to be my way out of The Village forever. But, really, I knew that couldn’t happen. Nathaniel would leave and I would be the one who stayed.

“Thanks for helping me wash the boats,” I tell Alec as we work on the second to last one.
    “Don’t I always help? Plus, it’s my job,” he replies. At that I give him a small laugh.
    “Most of the time you help, but you’ve been super busy this summer. I think Brandon has replaced me as your best friend.”
    “Shut up. You know you’ll always be my best friend, Charlie. Brandon just likes ball as