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get out of the car, getting the empty boxes from the trunk, and walk into the open front door of the building, my hands shaking as I put the key in our one bedroom apartment door. We had made the dining room into my small bedroom, covering the opening with a sheet. I stand there, shutting the door with my foot, and just look around. Still the same old dirty looking place but Mom tried to keep it clean and with the walls covered in pictures of her, me, us together, baby pictures of me and some of Bo and me together, it always felt homey.
    I walk slowly into her bedroom, taking a deep breath, and begin the long day of boxing up her things. It becomes a slow process as I reminisce about my entire life while going through her things, and it becomes harder and harder as I fight through my tears to see what I’m doing. I pick up a faded picture and smile. Mom and me looking at each other. This was the day we had a big fight.
    “Who is he, Mom? You never talk about him. You have never told me his name. Anything! Just a name, that’s all I ask! Don’t you think I have a right to know?” I’m standing in my normal defiant stance, hip cocked, arms folded over my chest and a scowl on my face.
    “Sweetheart. He doesn’t want anything to do with you, with us. He made that quite clear when I was pregnant with you. Don’t you think I’d give anything for him to be in your life growing up? Don’t you think I’ve always wished he could have been there for you?” She says tenderly to my yelling.
    I lower my arms, the tears I’ve been desperately trying to hold back but are now visible, and I bow my head. “I just want to know his name, who else I take after, what he looks like and if he ever loved me.” Arms wrap around me and I lay my head against her shoulder, her hand moving up and down my head and my long hair.
    “Oh, my baby girl. I’m sure if he knew you, he would love you with all his heart. I’m sure if he knew who you were he would be here in a heartbeat.” My eyes raise up to see her face, and she smiles. “I never told him about you. I knew he didn’t love me and when I found out that I was pregnant he had just told me he didn’t want children. We were so young. I knew from the minute you were conceived that I wanted you.” Her love envelopes me fully and I give her a smile as I listen. “You look like him, spitting image. Same color eyes, same color hair and your facial features are so similar.”
    “It must have been hard raising me looking so much like him, making you think of him when you look at me. I’m sorry, Mama. I guess I’ve only been thinking about myself. You’ve had it so hard and have done everything for me. I’m proud of you.” Her hand moves from the back of my head to the side of my face, raising my head up and looking into my eyes.
    “His name is James.” I smile as I nod, thankful that she told me at least that much. I figure if she didn’t want to tell him then I should be grateful to have her.
    By one o’clock I’m exhausted, physically and emotionally but I have her room packed and have boxes marked with ‘Needy’ and ones marked ‘Keep’. I start to pack up the kitchen, unsure of what to keep since I’ll be living with the Dunway’s for a while. I finally decide just to give everything to the needy except the few things that mean something to me, which isn’t much. A knock sounds on the door and I freeze. Shit! Why am I so worried? It’s probably just Jade or Bo. I walk over to the door, my eye immediately looking into the peephole and start backing up, my back hitting the wall behind me. My heart beating making me nauseous and my body begins to shake. Ricco.
    “Fuck, bitch! I know you’re in there. I’ve been watching. Let me the fuck in! Now!” his gruff voice travels through the door and my body starts shaking in fear. “Ok, whore. If you don’t open up, I’ll just pay a little visit to your friend’s house. I’m sure they’d love to see me.”
    My fear