Read For Our Son: A BWWM Parenting Romance For Adults for Free Online Page A

Ryan got up to shut off
the camera.
     
    "Ryan, sit ,” his mother commanded him before he got a
chance. "You always do this. When things get a little rough, you
run."
     
    "I’m not running. I just didn’t come here to argue with you."
     
    "So what if we argue. What’s it going to hurt? You still love me, I
still love you, right?"
     
    "I know, Mom, but…"
     
    "But nothing. We haven’t talked about this for years and I think
it’s time. Don’t you?"
     
    Ryan sighed in defeat and sat back down. He knew the tables had turned.
Now his mother would be interviewing him.
     
    "Of course I would have helped you, Ryan. I wouldn’t have made you
live on the street. You know that. How could you have thought that?"
     
    "Honestly, I was more concerned with what Grace’s dad was going to
do to me. I thought that if I showed him I could hold down a job, and school,
and taking care of Grace…that maybe he wouldn’t think that we were such
screw-ups. That’s all Grace really wanted: for her dad to be proud of her…I
ruined that for her so I was just trying to fix it."
     
    "Ryan, this was something that you and Grace got yourselves into together .
You can’t accept all the blame yourself."
     
    "Mom, I’m a big boy now, you said it yourself. I can’t sit here and
pretend that it wasn’t mostly my fault. You know all that stuff you said about Grace
bringing out the best in me? Well that was all at her expense. She took time
out of her schedule to study with me. If there was one thing Grace didn’t need,
it was a study partner… especially one with half her GPA. And I was
involved at school because her dad hated me and it was a way to spend time
together without him giving us a hard time."
     
    "And you didn’t like it at all?"
     
    "Of course I did, but I never would have known that if it hadn’t
been for Grace. Hell…sorry, I mean, heck , she’s the one that got me
interested in pursuing television and production as more than a hobby. Before
her I wanted to be a musician."
     
    Ryan and his mother both laughed at that statement. Ryan attempted to
take control of the interview.
     
    "So if you had it all to do over again, it’s 2007 and I’m telling
you for the first time that Grace and I are going to be parents…what would you
do?"
     
    "You know what," Ms. Stewart began as if she hadn’t heard Ryan’s
question. "The day you guys told me Grace was pregnant, you told me that
you loved each other. Do you think that was true?"
     
    "I thought we did, yeah."
     
    "You thought you did or you did? Which is it?"
     
    "The problem wasn’t me loving Grace, Mom. The problem was Grace
loving me. She didn’t after all."
     
    Ms. Stewart sat back as the realization hit her. "Oh…and all this
time I thought it was you who ended everything."
     
    "Nope."
     
    "Why didn’t you tell me?"
     
    "Because it was high school and that’s where I left it."
     
    Suddenly the entire idea of the documentary seemed ludicrous and Ryan
didn’t want to do it anymore. What was the point? There was no way he’d ever
sit through watching it and he certainly didn’t want anyone else to see it.
Maybe its only purpose was to clear the air with his mother, after all these
years. He could handle that.
     
    "I’ve got to get going, Mom." Ryan started to get up.
     
    "Wait, I have one more question for you,” she urged.
     
    "I’m the one who was supposed to be interviewing you."
     
    "I know, but I’m curious to know, if you had it to do all
over again, what would you have done differently?"
     
    Ryan didn’t hesitate to answer, "I would have supported Grace in
her decision to keep the baby…she really wanted to and now I know we probably
should have."
     
    "I don’t think you made a mistake in giving up the baby for
adoption. It was a wise choice. A hard one, I’m sure, but a wise one
nonetheless."
     
    "I thought that, too, at first. But it’s been years, Mom, and I
still have just as hard a time with it now as I did then. Aside