this side of town, and I will shut yoâ whole shit down if you say another muâfuckinâ cuss word at me! Now, cuss again!â she said, lunging her chest toward my face. âBring it! You better take a break and recognize. You know how I do it!â
âYou must like jail if you still threatening people.â
âShut up and let me talk. I ainât Rowanda. You ainât gonna out-mouth me. Your Uncle Boy, who you think is hot shit, was disrespecting me in the bar. I told him before we got there that if he fucked around, I would take the bat out my car and whoop his ass. He ainât believe me, so I had to show and prove.â
âShow and prove what, Aunt Cookie? You been with the man for twenty somethinâ years. Whatâs the point?â
âThe point is that I ainât the one, and thatâs what up! You feel me? Give yourself a chance to fall in love, and youâll see exactly what Iâm talking about.â
I tooted up my lips and said, âLove? Puh-leeze, Vera Wright-Turner will never take it there.â
âMm-hmm,â Aunt Cookie said, opening the car door. âThe mouth can always out-talk the heart, but best believe, what the heart want, the heart get. So save all that what-you-wonât-do-for-love shit for somebody else, âcause, I done lived long enough to know better.â With that said, she switched her hips and slammed the car door.
Step Two
âAll I said to Lee was that Mr. James was not all Lee thought he was cracked up to be, and she got pissed,â I explained to Shannon, while she was yelling in my ear about some ole dumb shit and interrupting my conversation with Taj.
âYou will apologize!â Shannon yelled. âI will not!â
âYou most certainly will! Your mouth is too big, and nobody asked for your opinion.â
âExcuse me? But that nigga is not James Evans from Good Times , and Leeâs ass ainât Florida.â
âWhat does that have to do with the price of tea in China?â
âNothing, but she ainât dating the black knight of the ghetto. She dating the pimp of the pulpit!â Then I hung up. I had to get back to the other line.
âYou really need to get it together,â Taj insisted.
He was right, but so what? âListen, Iâve explained to you my situation. Hell, Taj, Iâm doing you a favor.â
âYouâre doing me a favor?â
âYes.â
âPlease explain that.â
âI couldâve just played you, but I didnât. I was straight up with you. Now, listen, Iâm willing to be your friend, but the moment you get out of hand, Iâma have to let you know.â
âOh, so you donât care if I date somebody else?â
âDo you, boo.â
âReally?â
âThatâs right. Do you. If you like it, I love it.â
âOh, so youâre the master player?â
âMaybe so.â
âWell, I donât like players.â
âHumph,â I said, sucking my teeth. âDonât hate the player, hate the game.â
If Taj felt that he could date somebody else and they would be the freak of the week and the woman of his dreams all at the same time, then go for it!
I turned my radio on, put my feet up, and started singing, âLipstick is great, ass is straight, and the X5 is outside!â Then I put a human beat box to the end of my song. âIt wonât be long âfore Vera have it goinâ on.â The doorbell rang, and I did the Cabbage Patch, mixed with the whop, as I opened the door to see Roger standing there with a bouquet of red roses.
âI got us tickets for the Sade concert,â Roger said, smiling and looking stupid.
âSade?â I asked, totally stunned. Why was he at my door? I hadnât called him. Nobody invited him over here. Tickets to see Sade? Was he serious? Going to a concert to see Sade is something you do with somebody you actually