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this side of town, and I will shut yo’ whole shit down if you say another mu’fuckin’ cuss word at me! Now, cuss again!” she said, lunging her chest toward my face. “Bring it! You better take a break and recognize. You know how I do it!”
    â€œYou must like jail if you still threatening people.”
    â€œShut up and let me talk. I ain’t Rowanda. You ain’t gonna out-mouth me. Your Uncle Boy, who you think is hot shit, was disrespecting me in the bar. I told him before we got there that if he fucked around, I would take the bat out my car and whoop his ass. He ain’t believe me, so I had to show and prove.”
    â€œShow and prove what, Aunt Cookie? You been with the man for twenty somethin’ years. What’s the point?”
    â€œThe point is that I ain’t the one, and that’s what up! You feel me? Give yourself a chance to fall in love, and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.”
    I tooted up my lips and said, “Love? Puh-leeze, Vera Wright-Turner will never take it there.”
    â€œMm-hmm,” Aunt Cookie said, opening the car door. “The mouth can always out-talk the heart, but best believe, what the heart want, the heart get. So save all that what-you-won’t-do-for-love shit for somebody else, ’cause, I done lived long enough to know better.” With that said, she switched her hips and slammed the car door.

Step Two
    â€œAll I said to Lee was that Mr. James was not all Lee thought he was cracked up to be, and she got pissed,” I explained to Shannon, while she was yelling in my ear about some ole dumb shit and interrupting my conversation with Taj.
    â€œYou will apologize!” Shannon yelled. “I will not!”
    â€œYou most certainly will! Your mouth is too big, and nobody asked for your opinion.”
    â€œExcuse me? But that nigga is not James Evans from Good Times , and Lee’s ass ain’t Florida.”
    â€œWhat does that have to do with the price of tea in China?”
    â€œNothing, but she ain’t dating the black knight of the ghetto. She dating the pimp of the pulpit!” Then I hung up. I had to get back to the other line.
    â€œYou really need to get it together,” Taj insisted.
    He was right, but so what? “Listen, I’ve explained to you my situation. Hell, Taj, I’m doing you a favor.”
    â€œYou’re doing me a favor?”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œPlease explain that.”
    â€œI could’ve just played you, but I didn’t. I was straight up with you. Now, listen, I’m willing to be your friend, but the moment you get out of hand, I’ma have to let you know.”
    â€œOh, so you don’t care if I date somebody else?”
    â€œDo you, boo.”
    â€œReally?”
    â€œThat’s right. Do you. If you like it, I love it.”
    â€œOh, so you’re the master player?”
    â€œMaybe so.”
    â€œWell, I don’t like players.”
    â€œHumph,” I said, sucking my teeth. “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.”
    If Taj felt that he could date somebody else and they would be the freak of the week and the woman of his dreams all at the same time, then go for it!
    I turned my radio on, put my feet up, and started singing, “Lipstick is great, ass is straight, and the X5 is outside!” Then I put a human beat box to the end of my song. “It won’t be long ’fore Vera have it goin’ on.” The doorbell rang, and I did the Cabbage Patch, mixed with the whop, as I opened the door to see Roger standing there with a bouquet of red roses.
    â€œI got us tickets for the Sade concert,” Roger said, smiling and looking stupid.
    â€œSade?” I asked, totally stunned. Why was he at my door? I hadn’t called him. Nobody invited him over here. Tickets to see Sade? Was he serious? Going to a concert to see Sade is something you do with somebody you actually