She wore shorts and a light summer sweater. Her short pink hair was spiked up on top. Someone followed out from behind her and at first Sebastian thought it was another tenant. But the guy stopped and gripped her hand. Sebastian’s heart dropped. There was no mistaking who it was. He’d recognize that tall, thin form and mess of dark hair anywhere. What was Yvonne doing with Karl?
Karl lifted Yvonne off her feet and kissed her. A bomb went off in Sebastian’s heart. His legs moved without his bidding, and within seconds he tugged his girlfriend out of his best friend’s arms and right hooked him in the face.
Eva spent a couple days stewing over what Gabriele had said, but hid her bitterness by keeping a soft expression and smiling at appropriate times. Gabriele was a whirlwind of joy, more than enough to compensate for Eva’s lack of happiness.
At least she thought she was pulling it off.
“Seriously, Eva! You need to snap out of this blue mood you’re in. You’re raining on my parade.”
“What? I’m not doing anything to you.”
“Kind of my point. I’m about to get married and you are supposed to be happy for me.”
“I am happy for you.”
“If that were true, you’d be asking how you could help. You’d be interested in the details. Instead, you hole away in this room like everyone has a life but you.”
Everyone did have a life but her.
“Mama and Papa baby you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to. So make some decisions, Eva. Do something.”
She hated Gabriele in that moment. Because the truth hurt. She had let her accident define her. She focused more on what she couldn’t do than what she could. She worried about what people thought and that if she looked slow and stupid. She saw herself ten years from now, still living with her parents, working in the soup kitchen, and with no boyfriend or husband or children to show for it.
If that happened it would be her fault.
What did she want to do? Her eyes landed on her guitar and she knew. She wanted to play at the Blue Note. It wasn’t a big decision like what to study at university, but it was a start. And she was afraid of it, so it was the first step to facing her fears. Open mic night was tonight. The fact that she kept track of that proved she should do this. She limped to her chair and began to play her latest song, and imagining herself performing it in front of a crowd.
She’d talked herself in and out of it a hundred times throughout the day, but at eight o’clock that evening she arrived at the Blue Note and signed her name. She sat in an empty chair near the door and held on to her guitar like her life depended on it. Maybe it did. The room around her buzzed with energy. The chatter of the patrons, clinking of beer and wine glasses, money being exchanged, energy of anticipation filling the place as each artist was called and performed. Eva felt strangely distant from the commotion, like she was a caterpillar in a transparent cocoon. The membrane squeezed her, taunting her. She wasn’t one of them . She was alone and invisible.
Herr Leduc called her name, and it was like a clanging bell. Her body froze, prickling with nerves and she swallowed dryly.
“Eva Baumann?” the pub manager called again. His eyes were on her face, and she subtly shook her head.
He called the next name and she shrunk further, growing smaller and more insignificant, the membrane squeezing the air out of her lungs. She felt dizzy and feared she faint. The magnitude of another humiliation caused her to take a huge breath, and she mentally tore out of the cocoon. Not so gracefully, she lumbered out, gripping her cane and guitar, head down, her long, straight hair sheathing her face.
Eva cried throughout the night, but put on a happy face the next morning. She asked Gabriele if she could help with the wedding plans, and Gabriele smiled. “So glad you asked, Eva. I have a million things to do, including studying for my