Read Fleeced for Free Online

his hair into place. Next was Theseus , dark-haired and craggily handsome, all gold and glittery wearing the bronze armour he’d worn to kill the Minotaur. (You could tell it was the same outfit because of the twin horn-shaped dinks in the breastplate and an enormous hoof-print in the helmet that no amount of buffing could ever smooth out.) Herakles, the strongest man in the world, sprawled beside him, taking up three spaces. Draped in the pelt of the lion of Nemea he’d killed, its open maw crowned his pumpkin-shaped head as he lurched drunkenly, reaching for goblet after goblet of wine and dribbling it into his beard. Atalanta was dressed, as always, in her archery clothes. She moved her chair away from Herakles to whisper something to Orpheus, the Argonaut who’d played the lyre aboard the
Argo
to keep the Argonauts rowing in time.
    Bracing his shoulders, Aries pushed his way towards them. It was unfortunate, though, that owing to the width of his horns and the narrow gap between the tables, he dragged the tablecloths either side with him, sending pots, candles and flasks of wine clattering to the floor in a cascade of shattering clay and furious shouts. Undeterred, he stomped up to the competitors’ table, despite having a tablecloth hanging from each horn.
    Jason regarded him in disgust, his mouth a perfect ‘O’. The musicians twanged to a halt. And the crowd started to laugh.
    Tossing the sheets furiously to the floor, Aries noticed Athena rise to her feet and step forwards, regarding him with cool grey eyes, and he quickly lowered his head, bowing clumsily.
    “Majesty,” he murmured.
    “Ram?” Athena’s voice was soft and interested. She looked brightly around the wide-eyed onlookers. “What is your business here tonight?”
    Aries opened his mouth to speak but another gruffer voice boomed out instead.
    “Hish business?” it said thickly, slurred with ale. “I think I sh-tepped in it on the way in!”
    At which the crowd dissolved into furious laughter.
    “Silence!” Athena slammed her foot down impatiently. “Much as I love a good fight, I will have order! Aries, explain why you are here!”
    Aries took a deep breath. “I’m putting myself forward for the challenge!”
    For a few seconds there was a stunned silence as several ale-fuddled brains tried to make sense of what they’d just heard.
    Then Jason leaped up onto the table, and looked around the crowd’s bemused faces. “Is it just me,” he said, “or did anyone else just hear Aries say that he is going to compete against the Argonauts?”
    At which the room erupted into laughter again. Everywhere Aries looked the Argonauts and their friends stood, clutching their bellies and doubling over with laughter, wheezing for breath. Herakles slapped Orpheus on the back and sent him flying onto the floor, where he sat in a heap giggling. Atalanta dabbed away tears from laughing so hard.
    “It’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in years!” gasped Jason between gulps of laughter.
    “I don’t see why,” said Athena sharply.
    The laughter died away immediately.
    “Athena?” Jason frowned. “You
are
joking aren’t you?”
    “No,” said Athena coolly. “When I joke, Jason, I laugh. And look at my face. Is it laughing?”
    It wasn’t, thought Aries, brightening. In fact, it looked completely unamused and goddess-frosty.
    Pursing his lips, Jason stepped down off the table and slumped back into his seat. He folded his arms moodily across his chest. “But he’s something out of a farmyard,” he muttered. “He’s just a common sheep.”
    “I am not!” protested Aries.
    “Oh, really?” said Jason, raising one perfect eyebrow. “You’ve got four hooves and a silly face, haven’t you? Not like me.”
    “No,” said Aries. “You don’t have four hooves.”
    Jason lunged at Aries.
    “Gentlemen!” scolded Athena. She waited as Jason sat down again and for the crowd to sink into absolute silence before continuing. “I would like to