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I’m tryin’. I’m feeling a little weak and a little blind, and my foot swelled up and popped my shoe off. The only people who could save me now live thousands of miles away in Arizona.”
    â€œThey ran off with Jade, Buck. I’ll save you!” Chase hammered on the ceiling, listening for something that sounded hollow. The ladder swayed. Both of them tried to hold steady, but the ladder tipped. Just as Chase was about to fall to the ground, she grabbed the orange pipe on the ceiling and clung to it, like a child on monkey bars.
    Chase screamed. The ladder crashed into the washtub, which came loose and nearly fell off the wall. Chase held tight to the orange pipe. Buck rolled on the floor, groaning.
    A split second of silence. Then the pipe snapped in half, dropping Chase to the ground. Water burst from the pipe and sprayed the concrete floor.
    And that’s what happened. For real. Not the zanimals, but everything else: the falling ladder, the broken washtub, the exploding pipe, Alex and I crumpled on the floor.
    Shock kept away the pain. Alex was so stunned, his pupils shrunk into the white space around his eyes. I grabbed his arm. “Are we in trouble?”
    Now that was a dumb question. The door opened and Mr. Edmund Clark hollered, “What’s going on down there?”
    For an old guy, Mr. Edmund Clark came downstairs fast. Rocket fast. He saw water spraying from the cracked pipe and shouted, “The water main! Turn it off! Get off your butts and turn it off!”
    I had no idea what a water main was, or how to turn it off. Alex and I stayed on our butts, too shocked to move. I wanted to shrink into the floor and turn into a zanimal, which didn’t seem like such a bad life, really. Much better than being a kid who snapped a water pipe in two.
    â€œFor the love of Gertrude!” Mr. Edmund Clark marched around the stairs to the other side of the basement. I couldn’t see him, but I heard him grump and groan. The spray turned into a few sprinkles, then stopped. I belly crawled to the washtub and tried to hide underneath, but I was too big and the tub’s edge was practically touching the floor.
    Squishy footsteps came closer. Squish. Squish. Squish. I peeked and saw Alex huddled against the wall. A very wet Mr. Edmund Clark sat down on a wood box next to Alex. He coughed and caught his breath before speaking.
    â€œAlex, your mother doesn’t like shouting or cussing, and one must respect rules set down by the lady of the house. So with all due respect to your mother,” his voice rose from its quiet place, “what in the unholy firestorms of hell were you doing?”
    I faced the wall, waiting for Alex to answer. That’s when I noticed a hole about the size of a watermelon. Where the washtub had been hanging was an open space in the basement’s wall. I wished that hole were big enough to hide a ten-year-old girl.
    â€œWe … we … were climbing on the ladder because of the zombie animals, and we were gonna pound our way through the ceiling to escape the crooks. And the ladder crashed. And Chase—I mean Christa—held on to the pipe to save her life . To save her life! And the pipe broke.”
    â€œI better be going deaf, because if you just said something about my art and crooks and zombies, then your brain needs a good cleaning.”
    Even though we were in big-time trouble, I couldn’t stop looking at that hole. Could anyone resist looking in a hole? Not me. I put my hand inside it and felt around until I found two pieces of paper. I shook off the dirt and looked close. I shouted before Mr. Edmund Clark’s voice geared up for a good, long yell.
    â€œTwo hundred dollars!”
    â€œOh, it’ll cost more than that to fix this mess—”
    â€œMoney!” I yelled, crawling out of my hiding space and waving the two bills in the air. The bills were soggy and smelled like wet socks.
    They leaned toward me,