Read Fillets of Plaice, by Gerald Durrell for Free Online

enthusiasm to realise the danger. He produced several one hundred-drachma notes from the mayor's beard and the applause was deafening.
    “Now,” he said, “for my final trick,” and he held up his hands once more to show that they were empty. He bent down and plucked from the mayor's beard a bunch of 500-drachma notes.
    The amount of money that was now lying at the mayor's feet represented something like ten or fifteen pounds which, to the average peasant anywhere in Greece, was a fortune beyond the dreams of avarice.
    “There,” said Mactavish, turning and smiling at us proudly, “it never fails.”
    “You certainly have got them in a very good mood,” said Mother, who was by now completely relaxed.
    “I told you not to worry, Mrs Durrell,” said Mactavish.
    Then he made his fatal mistake. He bent down, picked up all the money lying on the ground and put it in his pocket.
    Immediate uproar broke out.
    “I, um…, I had a sort of feeling this might happen,” said Theodore.
    The mayor had risen shakily to his feet and was shaking his fist in Mactavish's face. Everybody else was shouting as indignantly as a disturbed rookery.
    “But what's the matter?” asked Mactavish.
    “You're stealing my money,” said the mayor.
    “I think,” said Larry to Mother, “that now is the time for you, Leonora and Margo to get back to the boat.”
    They left the table with alacrity and disappeared down the main street at a dignified trot.
    “But what do you mean,
your
money?” Mactavish was saying earnestly to the mayor, “It was
my
money.”
    “How could it be your money if you found it in my beard?” asked the mayor.
    Once again, Mactavish was defeated by the illogicality of the Greeks.
    “But don't you see,” he said painfully, “it was only magic? It was really my money.”
    “NO!” came a chorus from the entire village, “If you found the money in
his
beard it's
his
money.”
    “But can't you see,” said Mactavish desperately, “that I was doing tricks ? It's all tricks.”
    “Yes, and the trick is to steal my money!” said the mayor.
    “YES!” came a rumbled agreement from the assembled population.
    “Do you know,” said Mactavish, turning desperately to Larry, “I think this old boy's senile. He can't see the point,”
    “You really are a bloody fool, you know,” said Larry. “Obviously, he thinks that if you got the money out of his beard it's his money.”
    “But it's not,” said Mactavish obtusely. “It's
my
money. I palmed it.”
    “
We
know that, you fool, but
they
don't.”
    We were now surrounded by a throng of wild-looking and extremely indignant members of the community who were determined to see that justice was done to their mayor.
    “Give him back his money,” they all shouted, “or we'll stop your benzina from leaving!”
    “We'll send to Athens for the police!” shouted one man.
    As it would have taken several weeks to communicate with Athens and several weeks for a policeman to come back and investigate the thing — if, indeed, one was ever sent — the whole situation was taking on alarming proportions.
    “I think, um…,” said Theodore, “the best thing would be for you to give him the money.”
    “That's what I have always said about foreigners,” said Donald. “Excitable. Rapacious, too. Just like Max here who is always borrowing money from me and never paying it back.”
    “Now do not let us start to quarrel too,” said Max. “Dere is enough quarrel here for everybody.”
    “Really,” said Larry, “Theodore's is the best suggestion. You must give it back to him, Mactavish.”
    “But it's almost fifteen pounds!” said Mactavish. “And after all, it was only a trick.”
    “Well, if you don't give it back to him,” said Larry, “I think you've a very slim chance of getting out of here without being beaten up.”
    Mactavish drew himself up to his full height.
    “I'm not afraid of a fight,” he said.
    “Oh, don't be stupid,” said Larry in a weary tone of voice. “If all these stalwart young males go for you at once, you'll be torn to