know how to continue. He had come this far, and now his courage was failing him, but to lie in the confessional was a sin, and he already had enough of those on his conscience.
"Go on, my son," the other priest urged.
Father Kelly took off his glasses and rubbed his nose between thumb and forefinger, massaging the indentations where his spectacles rested. "I find it hard to admit this, even to myself, let alone say it out loud."
"Whatever you have to confess, God can forgive. He is listening, my son."
"That's just it, I'm not sure he is listening. I'm not sure there even is a god, not anymore, not after what happened in my old parish." The troubled priest put his glasses back on and peered through the grill at his confessor. "Please, father, you've got to help me. I've... I've lost my faith."
"Tell me, how goes the fighting in Manchuria?" Tojo gestured towards his desk. "I get the official reports, of course, but my generals only tell me what they think I want to hear. I can trust you to speak the truth."
Hitori took a deep breath and succinctly outlined the various battles being fought between China and the Imperial Japanese Army. He spoke dispassionately, confining himself predominantly to facts and figures, coloured with a few anecdotes. "In all honestly, we're winning most of our battles, but we're fighting a war that can never succeed. China is simply too vast to be conquered by one army, however brave and resourceful its warriors, no matter how superior their skills and weapons to the peasant militia."
The general nodded at the truth of these statements. "You sound tired."
His former adjutant smiled, for a moment. "More like exhausted. It's a long way back from Manchuria and your request for me to return sounded urgent."
"It was," Tojo replied. "It is." Suzuki returned with their drinks before the general could explain further. The general waited until the adjutant had left, before continuing. "Hitori, I must ask you some difficult questions. Be as honest with your answers as you have been with my previous questions."
"Of course, general."
"Many of our people believe the emperor is a living god, a deity in human form, sent to lead us to greatness. From birth, we Japanese are trained to believe in the divinity of our emperor, to trust in our inherent superiority to other races, and to know that we all share a collective destiny. No one of us is any more important than another, and all of us would lay down our lives in the service of the empire." Tojo poured each of them a cup of green tea. "Is that what you believe, Zenji?"
"Yes, of course, general."
"You would lay down your life for the emperor, if he asked?"
"Yes."
"Say it."
"Sir?"
"Say it out loud, so I can hear it for myself." The general leaned back in his chair, sipping the hot tea, his cold eyes fixed on Hitori's.
"I would willingly and happily give my life for the emperor, if he asked."
"I see, and what else would you sacrifice for the emperor?"
Hitori frowned. "I'm sorry, general, I don't understand the question."
Tojo put his tea back down on the table between them. "It's quite simple. What else would you sacrifice for the emperor?"
"Anything," the younger replied, "everything."
"Your life?"
"Yes, I've already said I'd-"
"Your wife?" Tojo interjected.
That stopped Hitori, giving him pause for thought. "Is there something the matter with Aiko, sir?"
"No, your wife is fine, as is your baby son."
"I have a son?"
The general smiled. "You didn't know?"
"Aiko was pregnant the last time we saw each other, but that was several months ago and letters from home rarely reach their destination in Manchuria."
"Of course. Forgive me for breaking news that I imagine your wife would rather you'd heard from her lips. Well, congratulations are due. You have a son, fit and healthy. His name is Noriyuki, I believe."
Hitori smiled. "In honour of my father."
"Quite so." Tojo poured a tumbler of warm sake for himself and another for his guest. "So,
"Go on, my son," the other priest urged.
Father Kelly took off his glasses and rubbed his nose between thumb and forefinger, massaging the indentations where his spectacles rested. "I find it hard to admit this, even to myself, let alone say it out loud."
"Whatever you have to confess, God can forgive. He is listening, my son."
"That's just it, I'm not sure he is listening. I'm not sure there even is a god, not anymore, not after what happened in my old parish." The troubled priest put his glasses back on and peered through the grill at his confessor. "Please, father, you've got to help me. I've... I've lost my faith."
"Tell me, how goes the fighting in Manchuria?" Tojo gestured towards his desk. "I get the official reports, of course, but my generals only tell me what they think I want to hear. I can trust you to speak the truth."
Hitori took a deep breath and succinctly outlined the various battles being fought between China and the Imperial Japanese Army. He spoke dispassionately, confining himself predominantly to facts and figures, coloured with a few anecdotes. "In all honestly, we're winning most of our battles, but we're fighting a war that can never succeed. China is simply too vast to be conquered by one army, however brave and resourceful its warriors, no matter how superior their skills and weapons to the peasant militia."
The general nodded at the truth of these statements. "You sound tired."
His former adjutant smiled, for a moment. "More like exhausted. It's a long way back from Manchuria and your request for me to return sounded urgent."
"It was," Tojo replied. "It is." Suzuki returned with their drinks before the general could explain further. The general waited until the adjutant had left, before continuing. "Hitori, I must ask you some difficult questions. Be as honest with your answers as you have been with my previous questions."
"Of course, general."
"Many of our people believe the emperor is a living god, a deity in human form, sent to lead us to greatness. From birth, we Japanese are trained to believe in the divinity of our emperor, to trust in our inherent superiority to other races, and to know that we all share a collective destiny. No one of us is any more important than another, and all of us would lay down our lives in the service of the empire." Tojo poured each of them a cup of green tea. "Is that what you believe, Zenji?"
"Yes, of course, general."
"You would lay down your life for the emperor, if he asked?"
"Yes."
"Say it."
"Sir?"
"Say it out loud, so I can hear it for myself." The general leaned back in his chair, sipping the hot tea, his cold eyes fixed on Hitori's.
"I would willingly and happily give my life for the emperor, if he asked."
"I see, and what else would you sacrifice for the emperor?"
Hitori frowned. "I'm sorry, general, I don't understand the question."
Tojo put his tea back down on the table between them. "It's quite simple. What else would you sacrifice for the emperor?"
"Anything," the younger replied, "everything."
"Your life?"
"Yes, I've already said I'd-"
"Your wife?" Tojo interjected.
That stopped Hitori, giving him pause for thought. "Is there something the matter with Aiko, sir?"
"No, your wife is fine, as is your baby son."
"I have a son?"
The general smiled. "You didn't know?"
"Aiko was pregnant the last time we saw each other, but that was several months ago and letters from home rarely reach their destination in Manchuria."
"Of course. Forgive me for breaking news that I imagine your wife would rather you'd heard from her lips. Well, congratulations are due. You have a son, fit and healthy. His name is Noriyuki, I believe."
Hitori smiled. "In honour of my father."
"Quite so." Tojo poured a tumbler of warm sake for himself and another for his guest. "So,
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