Feeling This

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Book: Read Feeling This for Free Online
Authors: Heather Allen
her soft skin. My step must falter because suddenly I feel two hands, one on each of my arms, guiding me down the hallway. I don’t even care who it is. At this point I feel the fight leak out of me and all I want to do is crawl back to my couch and forget this ever happened. I want her to still be here, alive and full of life.
    The nurse stops at a wide, white door. She turns and looks at me first but averts her eyes asking, “Mr. and Mrs. Rhodes, if you need anything, please let me know.”
    My dad responds, “Thank you, we will.”
    He reaches out and pushes the door open while still holding onto my arm. They guide me through the door to a blue, vinyl chair. I look away, anywhere but in front of me where a sheet is covering my love, my life, her lifeless body. I stare down at the floor willing this moment to never happen. Somehow they manage to get me into the chair. I hear my mom’s voice next to my ear, “Jordan, do you want us to stay?”
    This seems to snap me out of the semi-trance I must have been in. I hear my voice which sounds so foreign to my ears, “No.”
    As I utter this word I gather the strength to look forward at the white sheet draped in front of me. I hear the door creak and I know I’m alone. I sit there for a while. I can’t tell how long, because right now time doesn’t matter.
    I have an urge to touch her. I reach out reluctantly and grab the sheet squeezing but unable to move it. I gather more strength finally and pull it gently. It waves with movement revealing her beautiful brown hair fanned out behind her head like a halo. I pull it further to uncover her face, she looks like the angel that she is, laying there so peaceful. Suddenly I have the need to be closer. I get up and find her hand. The moment I touch her, I know, and my heart falters. Glancing at her it seemed she might just be sleeping but now the coldness of her skin strikes me with the truth. My body is wracked with sobs. I sink back to the chair but hold on tightly to her lifeless hand.
    I tell her through my sobs, “Susan, I am so sorry baby. So so sorry I didn’t get help for you. This is all my fault. I should have found a way… I love you so much, so very much my Susie Q.”
     

Chapter Six

     
    Trying like hell to sneak into my creative writing class without being noticed proves fruitless. Mrs. Cain calls me out immediately, “Kimber, if you’re going to be this late, you probably shouldn’t bother coming.”
    I nod at her completely embarrassed but what the hell? It’s not like we’re in high school or anything. I am an adult and if something comes up, I should be able to get a pass without this embarrassing crap.
    Heidi, my best friend, interrupts my mental rant whispering across the room, “Kimber, hey, what are you doing?”
    I look around suddenly aware that everyone is staring at me waiting for me to find a seat, including Mrs. Cain. My eyes avert to the floor and I scurry to the empty chair next to Heidi. Damn you Andrew, you just screwed up my whole day .
    Heidi leans over, still looking at Mrs. Cain, “I was about to text you. This lady doesn’t play around. You know she won’t give you credit if you miss.”
    When she does finally look at me, a different onslaught of questions start, “Are you alright? You look like you just saw a ghost or something.”
    “Yeah someone is more like it. You will never guess who is the teaching assistant in my pre-calc class.”
    “Who? Don’t keep me in suspense. Is he hot?”
    I smirk, this is so typical of Heidi. Becca from work is at one end of the spectrum and Heidi is at the other, both sides their own kind of bad. Becca will go home with anyone that pays her a compliment. Heidi is a pickier version of Becca. If you ask me, she’s on the lookout for a sugardaddy. Yes harsh I know, but I tell it like it is.
    She persists when I don’t answer right away, “Come on, you’re killing me here. “
    A girl on the other side of Heidi interrupts us,

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