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carpet. “Cody, will you keep an eye on Hannah?”
    â€œSure. Maybe we’ll even have time for some Green Eggs and Ham .” He crouches down beside Hannah and shows her how to pat the bunny. “Gently,” he has to repeat several times before she stops trying to yank the fur out of the book.
    When I get back to the front of the store, Kait and Shelby have advanced in as far as the magazines. “Come on,” I say to Kait. “What was that book you wanted to find?”
    She whispers like we’re in a library. “Something about babies? You know, about getting ready?”
    â€œAren’t you a little far along for that kind of crap?” Shelby follows us as I pull Kait through the rows, looking for health care or self-help or something. Hey, it’s not like I’m the expert here.
    Kait bites her lip, and it occurs to me maybe the whispering was because she didn’t want Shelby to hear. But if you want to keep a secret in this family, you should just keep your mouth shut. Like me. My secrets are hidden in my journal under my bed—a completely safe location since no one cleans under anything at our house.
    â€œLike this?” We are in the medical section, and there’s this thick green reference book on pregnancy and birth.
    Kait pulls it partially off the shelf and checks out the cover. “Maybe? I’m not sure.”
    â€œHere you go.” Shelby’s facing the opposite shelf, filled with self-help books. “ A Single Mom’s Survival Guide. God knows you’re going to need all the advice you can get.”
    Kait’s brown eyes get watery and she wipes at her nose. “No,” she says. “That’s not it, either.” But she takes the book from Shelby and puts it on top of her medical tome. Then she has to dig around in her purse for a tissue. I kind of like it better when she’s mad.
    â€œCan I help you?” says a semi-cute salesguy just as Kait lets out a horn-blast of nose-blowing. She starts crying in earnest.
    â€œJeez, Shel, now look what you’ve done.” I take the books from Kait and hold them for her.
    Shelby holds up her hands in self-defense. “I’m just telling it like it is.”
    â€œMy sister—” I start to say, but then Kait sobs and I have to wait to be heard. “Actually, we’re looking for books about babies. For new moms. Like advice and stuff, I think. Right, Kait?”
    Kait swallows. “I want to be a good mom. Maybe a book would help me know what to do.”
    â€œYou don’t need a book,” Shelby scoffs. “They pop out and ruin your life all on their own.”
    â€œShelby!” I jab a finger at her. “Remember you’re not supposed to talk like that where Hannah can hear you.”
    â€œI’m not. It’s not like she understands what I’m saying anyway.”
    â€œHannah’s just a couple aisles away. And you don’t know what she does and doesn’t understand.” Although she probably understands her mom better than Shelby thinks. Which is why Hannah never puts up a fuss when she’s left with babysitters.
    The poor bookstore guy clearly has no idea what to say. He stands there, face getting redder and redder, until I finally say, “So, is there a maternity section or something?”
    â€œRight over here.” He takes a deep breath, clearly relieved. “There’s What to Expect When You’re Expecting , of course. Baby’s First Year. Is that what you’re looking for?”
    Kait nods gratefully. Shelby snorts but stays with us. After flipping through a few books, Kait starts piling ’em up. Pregnancy, name choosing, parenting, nutrition, even an astrology guide. Finally, she scans the shelf one more time, looks over the books she’s chosen, puts all but two of them back, and says, “I’m ready to go.”
    Cody meets us at the checkout counter, bag already in