Read False Regret: Pikorua - Book 1 for Free Online Page A

be worth it, I promise.”
    He
exited the shed, locking the door behind him. I lay back down on the blanket
and cried until my insides were empty. I’d wasted years grieving for a boy who
was never dead; a boy who chose to rip out my heart and take it with him into the
world, leaving me alone and hollow. The pain had driven me into a hole of
despair that nearly cost me my life.  I thought of Matt who had tried to love
the shell of a person Cade had left in his wake. Matt deserved better than what
I had given him. Turned out, it was all for nothing. The torment I’d wallowed
in for so long was nothing more than a sham. The joke was all on me. I hoped
Gordon would kill me. I didn’t know how I could survive the revelation and all
it had cost me.

Chapter 3
    I
cried all night, not finding relief from the lamenting until a sliver of
daylight snuck under the door. The cold Michigan air numbed my limbs, but anger
burned hot inside of me. I was hungry and in desperate need of a shower, my jogging
clothes dirty and bloody, and my hair matted and caked with the remnants of
abuse. I didn’t consume the food Cade brought for me, despite my resurgence of
an appetite. Too distressed to eat, I would puke if I tried. My stomach seemed
to be on a direct line with my emotions, and my lack of weight often reflected
what I was feeling. Trapped in a small space smelling my vomit for days was
unacceptable. I had already urinated in the corner, once, but luckily it had
been such a scant amount, the odor had been undetectable. The thought of having
to shit in the shed, also kept me from eating. I would die like a human versus
live as an animal.
    The
sun had been up less than an hour when Gordon came to fetch me. He, again, pushed
me along until we got inside the cabin. This time I didn’t trip, sparing myself
a punch or a kick. The aroma of something delicious hit my olfactory senses the
minute I stepped across the threshold.  My stomach growled audibly. Logically,
I knew I should eat and drink; I couldn’t survive on sheer will alone. If Cade
held true to his word, I wasn’t going to die, just suffer a little. How
could he let me suffer at all? I pushed the question away, knowing the
answer. He didn’t care for me the way I had for him. I could never hurt him in
all the ways he had hurt me. I decided to eat the food if they offered me any. My
innards had settled, and if there ever was a chance for escape, I wouldn’t make
it if I didn’t have the strength to run. Shit in the shed or not, I needed to
be strong.
    Cade’s
back faced us when we entered. He’d removed the ski mask, no longer needing to
hide his identity. He’d already laid bare the truth, and it hit me again when I
saw his broad shoulders and narrow waist tending to something on the stove. His
hair was dark and cut short. The spiked bleached tips were left in his youth. This
man looked dangerous—he was dangerous--he’d proven it to me. He played his part
well as an uncover agent.  If he really even works for the FBI .  The
doubts grew inside me. Nothing about his tattooed, hard-ass demeanor screamed
he was working with the good guys. Tears sprang to my eyes again, but I held
back, knowing I had to pretend not to know him. You don’t need to pretend …
You don’t know him. You never did.
     Gordon
pushed me down in the usual chair. “You will eat today, or I will shove the
food down your fucking throat; your choice, little girl.” He walked to the
stove and Cade handed him a plate. He did not make eye contact with me, and it
squeezed my heart. Gordon slammed the dish down in front of me, sending pieces
of egg sprawling across the marred wooden table. “Eat it. Now!”
    I
stared at him defiantly, the anger still so sharp inside of me, I wanted to
fight. Common sense prevailed, and I picked up the fork and took a bite. The
scrambled eggs were seasoned and tasted like heaven on my tongue.
    Cade,
or Donny, as I needed to remember, brought me a cup of coffee and a