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stop the pain from spreading throughout my body. It never really works, of course, but it’s just become a habit now. A few seconds pass and I release the hold on my stomach, finally feeling like I can breathe again. It’s sad to know that just a few words can still cause such horrible pain.
    “I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Jenna shakes her head and stares down at the table.
    “Hey,” I say, swallowing the lump that’s rising in my throat. “It’s—it’s fine.”
    “Really? ‘Cause you don’t look fine. You look...” her voice trails off.
    “Really, Jenna. It’s okay.”
    “You sure? ‘Cause I won’t talk about him if it’s gonna hurt you or if you need more time.”
    “Jenna.” My voice is firm and I try my hardest to stretch my lips and form something resembling a smile. “Do you hear yourself? You’re willing to never talk about your boyfriend in front of me because he’s part of the rescue team. Don’t be silly. I’m not that fragile.”
    Deep down I know that I probably am, and every time that she mentions him from now on I’ll think of Adam, but I’m not about to tell Jenna that. I owe her so much and she deserves this. She deserves to meet someone and fall in love. She deserves to be happy.
    “Well, there’s one more thing. I guess I’ll just get it all out now.” She takes in another deep breathe.
    I relax a little, knowing nothing she says can be as bad as what she just told me.
    “He’s friends with Carter,” she finally blurts out.
    Okay, so I was wrong. Things could get worse.
    “Best friends,” she adds.
    Okay, way worse.
    “And they’re roommates.”
    Shit .
    I close my eyes. Why? Why does her boyfriend have to be best friends with a guy that I can’t breathe around? The guy that, with just one look at his face, one word from his lips, makes all the memories I’ve tried to forget come rushing back.
    It’s fine, I tell myself. I can continue to avoid him. Just because Jenna’s boyfriend is best friends with Carter, it doesn’t mean that I’ll have to start being friends or anything with him, right? There’s a chance that our paths would’ve crossed at some point and I’m going to have to get over it eventually, right? I open my eyes back up and find Jenna looking at me intently.
    “So on a scale from zero to a shitload, how much do you hate me right now?” Jenna asks, her expression guarded.
    I force out a laugh and shake my head. “Zero. If he makes you this happy, then I’ll deal with it.”
    “Really?” She sounds relieved. “A part of me knows you’re full of shit, but the other part of me loves you for wanting to try.”
    “Can we make a deal?” I ask, still trying to get a grip on my emotions.
    “Sure.” Her voice is hesitant.
    “From now on, no more secrets. No more treating me like I’m some fragile little egg that could crack at any moment. And most of all, no more hiding cute guys you’re dating.” I smile at her. “I need you to be normal and treat me normal, so I can be normal again.”
    “Normal,” she repeats and nods her head. “I think I can do that.”

 
     
    Chapter Three
     
    You cannot find peace by avoiding life.
    ~ Virginia Woolf
     
    Friday’s here before I know it and my first week of senior year is officially over. Even though there were days when I dreaded starting school again, I have to admit that it feels good to get back into a routine and have something to focus on besides my own internal depressing thoughts.
    More than anything, though, I’m looking forward to getting my life back, hanging out with Jenna, and maybe even having a little fun in the process. I overheard a few girls in class talking about a new club across from campus. It had opened this summer and is a great place to go and dance. It has been so long since Jenna and I have had a girl’s night out.
    When I get home, I find Jenna in her closet. She’s kneeling down on the floor with her back towards me and clothes are