that’s great. I’d love to help! How do we get started?” This was just what I needed: an overload at work so I didn’t have to think about anything going on at home.
“Well, that’s the only catch. We only have until next Tuesday to prepare. They aren’t doing a two-stage process; they’ve just invited three firms to present and take questions next Tuesday afternoon. There’s a lot to do, but this would be phenomenal for the firm, it would really cement our expertise in this sector.”
“Sounds good. When’s the kickoff meeting?”
“Tomorrow at 8 a.m. I’ll send you some background reading in the meantime. Beautiful flowers , by the way.”
Great, I was going to be too busy to think!
I took Patricia’s reading home with me, so I left the office at a decent hour and stopped by the supermarket on the way home to pick up some food and a bottle of merlot—no Rioja—for dinner tonight. It was a fresh start, a new day.
I just needed to email Daniel to say thank you for the flowers, and I needed to ensure he was clear there would be no more time-outs and then that would be the end of things. I would start my amends-making by preparing and enjoying dinner with my fiancé.
Every time I started to write my goodbye email to Daniel, I managed to distract myself. I told myself I had to give Deb some comments on her note from yesterday’s call before I wrote the email. I had to book a hair appointment . I had to give Brendan my filing and go through my schedule for next week with him—by 3 p.m. I realized that I was just rude for not thanking him for the flowers and dinner last night. There was no way around it: I had to email him, and I had to do it then. I volunteered to do a coffee run again and started typing in the queue.
Thank you so much for the flowers . They are quite beautiful. You seem to have access to my most private thoughts; white roses are a particular favorite of mine, but I’ve never received them from anyone until now.
You said last night that you require transparency in your life , so I want to be completely clear with you—I had a truly wonderful evening last night. Thank you, but I’m back in reality now and I realize that we can’t pursue whatever there is between us. I hope that doesn’t sound presumptuous of me; I have no idea if you think there is something between us and no idea if you want to pursue it, but I know how I feel. I feel something and if circumstances were different ... but they’re not and I can’t get in deeper than I already am.
I’m so thankful we had last night.
Lx
That was the end of it. I logged out of my email and went to shower and change before starting on dinner. There was a finality about the tears that ran down my face during my shower that was reassuring. I just let them out, knowing they were for Daniel and therefore couldn’t be a part of me anymore.
When I came out of the shower, I had received a text from Charlie saying he would make it home tonight but not before dinner and for me to go ahead without him. Oh well, that gave me time for me to do the reading I guess.
I was starting to feel a bit more settled when Anna called later that evening. I didn’t tell her about meeting Daniel. I probably would at some point soon, when I felt a bit less raw.
“Can you do drinks on Friday?”
“I think so, yes. I have to go into work this weekend, though, so I can’t have a late night. Is Fran up for it as well?”
“No, I’m not inviting her. There’s something not right with that girl . I’ve barely seen her, and when I have she’s so moody. And to top it all she says she isn’t drinking this month. Now, you can’t tell me that’s normal behavior from Fran.”
“Well , abstinence from alcohol is bound to cause moodiness.” I tried to lighten her mood.
“Agreed, let’s change the subject. How are things with Charlie?”
“Better, I think. I’ve not really seen him since Sunday. He’s been working so hard, but things seem to be