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my
mind. "Tell him about me."
    My body froze over. Terror
made my heart rip and roar beneath my chest. Not again. Please, not
again.
    Go away.
Please , I pleaded to a voice that
shouldn't have been there.
    "Never."
    "Ella, what's wrong?"
Cailen had backed away, his face punctuated with worry. And then I
remembered he could feel my terror. But he didn't know why and it
had to stay that way.
    I swallowed it all down.
The emotions, the fear. I pushed Malik's voice away with every bit
of strength I had. "It's nothing," I said. I had to think quick. I
had to lie. "I was just scared because..." I shook my head. "It's
nothing."
    "It's not nothing." His
eyes narrowed. "You were scared like this earlier. Why?"
    "Earlier?" I prayed he'd
just let it go. He noticed--and remembered--more than I'd
thought.
    "Yes, earlier." Suspicion
grew in his voice. He knew I was hiding something. I was such a bad
liar.
    I dropped my head and
whispered, "It's the Fae'ri. It just hits me sometimes." As I said
the lie it all started becoming true and fear spiked inside me
again. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my waist to hold it
in. "It's been so long since El has said anything. That anyone has said
anything. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do
anymore."
    Or who I was. My
similarities to the Fae'ri disturbed me more than I wanted to
admit. Even now my rage at everything threatened to take control. A
constant pressure I shoved down, forcefully, like a rip or tear,
but an ache swelled up and tears took its place. Not tears of
sorrow or of frustration, but of anger that refused to be
controlled. Of rage that needed to express itself somehow, some
way.
    He pulled me into his arms
and ran his fingertips along my back. I leaned in and tried to let
his comfort soak through me. "I don't know either, Ella. But there
is something that we do know. You are the Destructor. And I'm here helping
you."
    My hand went up to grasp
the locket that I always wore around my neck now. I still didn't
remember finding it, but Cailen said I had. On the day I was taken.
And according to some prophecy, the only person who could find it was the
Destructor.
    I really wished I
remembered everything.
    Just then I had this
overwhelming need to tell Cailen all I knew. I'd been keeping
secrets since the moment I reached civilization outside of Sho'ful . I needed to own
what I did know.
I needed it to be mine. But I also needed to share it, make it more
real. Maybe Cailen would understand.
    Maybe.
    With my gaze resting
squarely on the locket in my hand, I took a deep breath and made
the plunge. "I haven't been totally honest with you."
    "I know." I heard the
smile in his voice and looked up, a little more than
surprised.
    "You know?"
    "Of course. Ella, you're a
horrible liar."
    I hit him on the shoulder
and playfully shoved him out of the way so I could sit on his bed.
Before passing him, my hand grazed one of his wings and the
electricity spiked so much my knees shook and sweat broke out on
the back of my neck. I fell more than sat on the mattress. Ignoring
the heat of embarrassment crawling in my veins--and failing because
we both knew he could feel how humiliated I was--I leaned against
his headboard and said, "I'm not that bad."
    He chuckled and pulled up
the chair to sit across from me. His wings slid back into their
home beneath his skin. The room lost its lovely blue and green hue.
"Yeah. You are."
    "Well, anyway..." I pulled
at my hair and played with the ends, looking at anything but his
eager face. "...this is kind of a big deal. For me."
    "I'm sorry. I'm just
surprised. I've been waiting weeks for you to open up to me, to
trust me."
    "I know."
    "Why the
change?"
    I swallowed. "I don't
know, really. I guess I needed to be able to trust my own feelings
first." I looked up. “Besides," I laughed, "you shared your cool
invisibility trick with me."
    He laughed and
nodded.
    "So." I took a deep breath
and paused. I didn't really know where to begin.
    He raised an