Knowing that I’d scared her hurt me.
But I didn’t let it show.
I just stared right back and gave her a cocky grin while I was at it. It didn't mean anything, but I wanted the others to think it did. I needed them to make sure Carly was protected from herself.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Ryan and Jake exchange glances. After a few more seconds, Jake leaned closer, nodding his head toward the hotel suits, and then Ryan nodded.
Jake started toward me and I braced myself for some manhandling. I wouldn't even resist, I told myself. No matter what they did.
But Jake cut around me as if I wasn’t even there.
“Julio, perhaps one of your men could drive me to the nearest hospital? Ryan needs to stay with Carly.”
There was a low conversation that passed between them. I could have listened in, but I was too busy watching Carly. I'd wanted her scared enough to get her to understand why I couldn't be here, be near her. And I hated that I'd succeeded.
She was still staring at me. She licked her lips and it hit me. I wasn’t going to be able to follow through on that kiss. That sucked, but I knew it was for the best.
As the elevator door swung open behind us, I turned, intending to join Jake and Julio and Company.
Ryan blocked me. “What’s the hurry?” He gave me an easy smile.
“I think I’ve worn out my welcome,” I said, not bothering to hold back the edge of temper cutting into my voice. I could feel my head starting to throb. I just wanted to get home and lose myself in sleep.
“Oh, don’t worry. Jake or I will let you know when that happens.” He clapped me on the shoulder, not too subtly nudging me back from the door. “Carly, I don’t know about you, but I'm starving.”
Carly’s silence seemed to be all the answer he needed. As Ryan pulled his cell phone from his jacket pocket, he shot me a look. “You like burgers?”
I stared at him. What was he talking about?
Ryan’s smile was friendly. “It’s not a hard question, man. Beef, cow, you know?”
“Suck my dick,” I suggested. I wasn't in the mood to be jerked around.
“I’ll take that as a maybe. Preferred it dressed or plain?”
Since the man was clearly not going to be dissuaded, I just sighed. “Dressed.”
As he busied himself on the phone, I moved back to the window. The glow of the lights was one I didn’t think I’d ever tire of. It was a great view.
“Who was it?”
Carly’s question caught me off guard.
I closed my eyes. “Does it matter?”
“Somebody died. How can that not matter?”
Such a simple statement. So very true.
“He was an asshole. An abusive asshole. He beat on his girlfriend. He beat on his mother. He beat on the whores he hired. He beat on the people who were late paying him money. He beat on anybody who crossed him. He tried to beat on me once, and I kicked his ass.”
“Is...” Carly hesitated and then continued, “Is that why you killed him? Because he hurt you?”
“Nah,” I said, shaking my head. I glanced down at her. “Derrell, he wasn’t worth that. He wasn’t worth much of anything, really. Just a punk. A trouble-maker. He was a dealer. I was a...” I paused, taking my time with how I finished that statement. “I was a problem solver. I was always good with my hands. Strong. Fast. We worked for the same guy. I didn’t mess with the drugs, but if there was a problem, somebody who owed money, or somebody causing trouble, I was the one who got called. But the man in charge, one day, he told me to go after this woman. She was young. Owed him money. She had a daughter. A little girl. He said...”
I closed my eyes and leaned in until I could press my forehead to the window. I felt Carly watching me. I didn't want to tell her, but she'd asked, and if this was how I could get her to understand why I needed to go, then I'd say it.
“He told me to grab the girl. Use her if I had to. I wouldn’t do it. I grabbed the little girl from her bus stop, took her to her