vulnerable, but I’m a
warrior in my work life. I can battle for him. And if he doesn’t want
anything more than friendship, we can be step siblings again.
All
I want is my Brandon back in my life. And I’m gonna try my hardest to make it
happen.
Chapter 6
Brandon
I leave Sammie’s
apartment with tightness in my chest that feels fucking terrible. I know she’s
crying, I could see it in her eyes, and I want to punch something with the
guilt of it. What the fuck was I thinking? All the memories have me so mixed
up. I love her but it’s brotherly love, isn’t it? It’s childish love. I
can’t believe what we did, what I did. I should have pulled away but I
couldn’t. I felt like I was underwater and everything was happening slowly. I
wanted to drown in her softness. Fuck.
I
head straight over to Jackson’s Bar where the rest of my crew will be
gathering, wanting to be anywhere in the world but here. It’s dark inside and
stinks of beer and man. Jackson is leaning on the bar picking his teeth and I
shake my head at where I’ve ended up. It’s about as far away from Sammie’s
world as I could get, short of prison.
“Brandon,
get your ass over here,” Adam calls from a booth at the back. He’s nearly
sixty but still insists on wearing a tight t-shirt and jeans. I suppose the
gym is keeping him in okay shape but his face is worn and sharp from years of
bad living. I stroll slowly across, gesturing to Jackson that I want a beer. When
I slip into the booth Adam’s eyes scan me as though he thinks he can read my
mind just by looking. “Where you been?” he grunts.
“I
had to see a friend.” Jackson brings my beer and I take a deep swallow,
needing it more tonight than I have for a while.
“What
friend?”
“No
one you know,” I say. “So, what did I miss?”
“Connor’s
gone with Tom to make the drop. I wanted you to go with him but it seems like
you had different priorities tonight.”
“Connor
can handle it,” I say.
“Connor
shouldn’t have to handle it,” he says.
“So
what do you want me to do then?”
“Get
over to Sandra’s and collect the takings.”
“Fuck,”
I mutter. “You know I don’t want to have anything to do with that shit.”
“What,
too good for the ladies?”
“There
ain’t no ladies at Sandra’s. I just don’t like that place. It stinks of
desperation and those girls look fucked up.”
“They
like it,” Adam says with a dirty grin.
“You
keep telling yourself that,” I say and his eyes narrow.
“You
might not like it but that’s your fucking job tonight, okay? Next time, you
get here when you’re supposed to and I’ll find someone else to go see Sandra.”
I
down my beer knowing that there’s no point in arguing with him. It’s his way
of punishing me and I’m not gonna give him the satisfaction of resisting him
anymore. These are the games we play.
“Okay,
I’m out,” I say.
“Before
you go, there’s been more trouble with those new boys. They’ve been seen near
Joe’s this time. They’re getting more brazen, trying to push out our guys.”
I
nod, wondering where all this bullshit is going to end. “You want me to do
anything about it?” I ask.
He
shakes his head. You just keep your mind on the job, boy.”
It’s
only just south of midnight by the time I reach Sandra’s. A blonde in black
strappy heels and a negligée answers the door, having checked me out via the
video intercom.
“Hey,
Brandon,” she purrs. “Haven’t seen you over this way in a while.”
Her
eyes are glassy from whatever she’s been given to help her get through the
night. There’s something about her that reminds me of Sammie – maybe it’s the
shape of her eyes – and it turns my stomach. How do some girls end up sinking
like this?
“I’m
here for Sandra,” I say, trying to sound friendly.
“She’s
in the back.” I walk