Hoynesâ living room, nursing cups of tea. The fuller figures of Marjorie and Maggie bookended a birdlike woman, with a tiny face and hair scraped back in a scraggy bun.
âHe canna hauld his drink. The least wee tipple anâ heâs singing like a bird,â griped Geordie McCallumâs wife Beth. âYou jeest have tae be careful how you go aboot getting any sense oot oâ him.â
âIf they think theyâre going to spirit my Duncan off they can think again. Thatâs not going to happen.â Maggie lifted her chin and stared from one woman to the other. âHeâs finishing early today, and weâre going to get him a suit for the honeymoon.â
âYou better hope heâs noâ finished already and doon the Douglas Arms wae that faither oâ yours.â Beth shook her head to emphasise the seriousness of their predicament. âTheyâre taking someone tae oor wee bothy â who else could it be, Maggie? Aye, anâ whootâs goinâ tae happen afterwards?â
âAnd how can we stop them?â pondered Marjorie. âI know my husband â heâs like a dog wae a bone. He never gies up. If he sets his mind on something, heâll go hell for leather tae make it happen. As soon as I got him interested in fridges, there was no stoppinâ him.â
âThat was a good piece of logic, Marjorie. How on earth did you manage that?â asked Beth.
âDead easy. I jeest telt him aâ the money weâd lose whoot wae food going off in the pantry. Did he noâ go oot and do something that very day. Ordered the contraption and everything.â
âHe doesnât like it, though,â said Maggie. âSwears blind it makes the cheese lose its flavour.â
âIt doesna improve it any, right enough,â said Marjorie. âI always put a wee dollop oâ mustard in wae a cheese sauce. Try it, Beth, gies it a great flavour.â
âMother, weâre losing the thread here. Bethâs not interested in making a cheese sauce, when her manâs about to be caught up in the machinations of my father and his trusty assistant.â
âWell, whootever it is, they canna dae it waeoot a Land Rover. Thatâs where oor Geordie comes in.â
âIs that noâ it sittinâ at the front gate, Beth?â
âNo, thatâs the auld yin. I cut aboot in it maist oâ the time. Itâs a wee bit temperamental, but I nurse her through. The only way tae get oot the road. Geordie bought yin for himselâ. It was only second-hand, but he wishes heâd noâ bothered noo, whoot wae the fishing goinâ tae the dogs. Mark you, itâs always stinking oâ fish.â
âSo they think theyâre going to imprison my Duncan then send him goodness knows where. Itâs time to get down to the Douglas Arms and put a stop to it all.â
âAye, but weâll have tae caâ canny, Maggie,â said her mother. âThink, once weâve caught them, weâll have them that guilty, theyâll noâ stray for weeks, right through the wedding and beyond. We can put all this nonsense oâ my Duncanâs stag night behind us. Jeest gie them enough rope.â
âWe need to keep a watching brief, Sergeant,â said Marshall the Customs Officer. âI donât want us going off half-cocked and them getting off on some technicality.â
âI have Hoynes banged to rights with that octopus. But I agree, we need to bide our time. Just give them enough rope,â whispered Watson.
Grant, Marshall and Watson were in the back of a police van, staring across the road at the Douglas Arms through a gap between the front seats. Though it was July, lowering cloud and a downpour of rain darkened the scene.
âCould you not go and issue some parking tickets, Sergeant. I can see at least three candidates from here. Itâll distract attention from the