arms around herself to stop the hemorrhaging, but nothing could curb the steady flow of anguish.
Caden flicked a glance over his brother’s shoulder at her, then whispered in Lucan’s ear. Quickly, Lucan spun around. For an electric moment, their eyes met. Then he shoved away from the brunette, running down the stairs toward Anka.
Why? Probably because she’d ruined his evening. Even if he thought he wanted her back, she could never again be what he needed. He was better off with the lovely surrogate. And maybe…someday he’d find love again. It hurt deeply to think of him content and mated to another. But she would always love him. She wanted his happiness above all else.
As he made his way through the little gate and headed for the tree under which she’d taken shelter, she wrenched her gaze from his and teleported back to Shock’s house.
Anka held in a sob as she stumbled inside. She couldn’t keep torturing herself with thoughts of how Lucan would spend his night. How he probably spent most nights. She had to move past the heartache, let him live in peace so she could be the woman who rose from the ashes of her own tragedy to fight for what she wanted more than anything—Mathias’s destruction.
To start that, she had to find Shock.
Now inside the little house, she felt his presence immediately. She prowled down the pokey hallway, to the bedroom they shared. The mattress squatting on the floor took up most of the room, white rumpled sheets contrasting with the dark hardwood floors. He stood just outside the wardrobe, leather jacket in hand, which told her he’d been here mere seconds. He wore no shirt, leaving every bulge and ridge of his heavily-muscled torso on display. He took up all the space and air in the room.
When Shock caught sight of her, he flipped off his sunglasses and tossed them on a little bedside table and pinned her with a probing stare. As she did whenever she saw his unusual eyes, she steeled herself.
He marched across the room. “I know you left Bram’s over an hour ago. Where the fuck have you been?”
Anka didn’t answer. He’d discover for himself. When he was sober and wanted to know, she had zero means of hiding from him. His psychic abilities were stronger than any she’d ever encountered.
Shock gripped her arm. Barely a moment later, thunder overtook his face. He snatched his grip back with a hiss and shook his head. “You saw that wanker kissing another woman and still went to his house? Are you trying to torture yourself?”
He yanked her against his body, plastering her against the searing heat of his chest. Instinctively, Anka grabbed onto him, her fingers at his lean waist, brushing the ridges of his abdomen.
“ I-I didn’t mean…” To go there . But Shock wouldn’t care.
“ To chase that prick to his house? That barmy fuck who couldn’t save you from Mathias? The one who didn’t fight to bring you back to the home you’d known for over a century? Anka…” He fisted her curls gently in his hands and eased her head back until she looked into his eyes. “You know you can’t be what he wants anymore. You are no longer that woman.”
God, she knew. Did he have to throw it in her face?
“ If that’s what it takes to bring you some peace with your life now, yes. I accept you as you are. I won’t make you pretend to be someone you’re not. What would the high and mighty Lucan MacTavish do with you now? Dress you again in fine silks for his pointless Privileged parties, then take you home for polite sex?”
She wanted to push Shock’s words back at him. But too much of what he’d said was true.
“ What then? Will he look the other way when Mathias knocks on your door again?” He thrust his fingers deeper into her hair and clung. “You can’t let Lucan hurt you again, little one.”
She hadn’t grown up Deprived, the lower rank of magickind’s society, as Shock had. She had grown up a member of the supposed Privileged class, but she hung