Read Embarrassment of Corpses, An for Free Online Page B

mess.”
    â€œYes, well, I’m sure it’ll come your way if we can’t handle it,” said Oliphant distractedly. “But right now, I’ve got about thirty witnesses upstairs impatient to be interviewed. They all seem to be called Camilla and they’re all threatening me with a daddy who knows the Home Secretary personally. So I’d appreciate it if you could let me finish up here, and then we can start the trains running again.”
    â€œCertainly, Desmond, we were just leaving. Come along, Sergeant Strongitharm.”
    Mallard pocketed his notebook and led the way along the platform, past a small man in an even smaller suit who was hovering nervously near the stairs to the street. Effie paused and with a gentle pat on Mallard’s arm, turned back to the man.
    â€œYou must be the station manager,” she predicted, assuming no other member of the public would be allowed onto the platform. The small man gazed up at her with admiration.
    â€œI am indeed,” he replied with a self-satisfied purr, if any sound passing principally through the nostrils can be described as a “purr.” “My name’s Noss. Like Moss, only with an en.”
    â€œAn em? Moss already has an em.”
    â€œNo, not an em, an en. For November.”
    â€œOh, Noss .”
    â€œThat’s right, Noss.”
    â€œQuite a day you’re having, Mr. Noss,” she said, with a winning smile. Noss straightened his shoulders, causing lozenges of off-white shirt-front to appear between the buttons of his jacket.
    â€œOh, we can handle it,” he said with a modest glance at his shoes. “This is my fourth murder, you know. I’ve had several attempteds too. I’ve even had babies twice. But you know, Miss…”
    Effie ignored the invitation. “Yes?” she said, feigning delight. Noss leaned forward.
    â€œI’ve never had an accident.”
    â€œI’m so pleased to hear it,” Effie gushed. She unconsciously untied her ribbon, and her ample curly hair sprung into its pyramidal shape. Noss, expecting an effect that showed more regard for the law of gravity, opened his eyes another notch.
    â€œWell, you must be commended for the way you’re handling this, Mr. Noss,” Effie continued. “I was only saying to Mr. Mallard—oh, this is Superintendent Mallard of Scotland Yard’s Murder Squad—that your swift thinking has saved us all a lot of work.”
    Mallard stepped forward imperiously and grasped the overawed station master’s hand.
    â€œMr. Noss, your actions prove to me that you are an intuitive and insightful man,” he intoned, taking over smoothly from Effie. “But I see more. Something is on your mind, Mr. Noss. You know something about this business, and yet you hesitate, perhaps for fear of wasting our time with trivia.” Mallard finally ended the handshake and placed his palm on Noss’ dandruff-strewn shoulder. He winked. “But let me confide in you, my dear Noss, nothing is trivial in a murder investigation. You, and you alone could have the key—you who have been here from first to last.”
    Mallard stepped back and waited majestically. Effie’s smile broadened, encouraging the little man. Noss cleared his throat.
    â€œWell, I suppose there is one thing,” he began tentatively.
    â€œYes,” they both replied.
    â€œI didn’t think to mention it because it seems so silly.”
    â€œGo on,” Effie said breathily.
    â€œPerhaps it only interests me…”
    â€œIt will interest us all, Mr. Noss, be assured,” claimed Mallard. “This is your moment. Your, er, once-in-a-lifetime.”
    â€œAll right. All right, I’ll tell you. You see that tube.”
    He pointed to a large gray duct that ran orthogonally through the station, almost directly above their heads.
    â€œWhat about it?” asked Effie, looking up.
    â€œCan you guess what’s in