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risk – everyone was, and some got killed, as did he. But I’ll be going into a peacetime army, there’ll be no risk and we’ll be doing different things, not fighting battles. I’d never have asked you to worry about me like that, honest, I wouldn’t!’
    â€˜No risk?’ Flo repeated with a hoarse laugh. ‘In the army and not at risk? You’re asking me to believe that? It’s a piece o’ nonsense and you know it.’ She put her hand to her eyes and began to cry in earnest with deep, painful sobs. ‘Oh, how could you do this to me, Dougal, how could you?’
    â€˜Aye, how could you?’ cried Chrissie, rising to put her arms around her mother. ‘It’s too cruel, so it is!’
    â€˜No, it’s not cruel, it’s not fair to say that. I’ve explained to Ma how it is, how I’m just joining a peacetime army that’ll be nothing like Dad’s. She’s no need to take it like she has. You see that, Roz, eh? You understand?’
    But Roz’s eyes were on her mother, who was now sitting back in her chair, her face quite white as her sobs shook her slight frame and, after a moment, Roz shook her head.
    â€˜Dougal, what you’ve said should make sense, but you knew how Ma would see it and you didn’t even discuss it with her or any of us, just sprang it on her out of the blue. That was unfeeling, whatever you say.’
    â€˜It was just because I knew how she’d be. I knew she’d be so upset that I’d never get away.’ Dougal ran his hand over his face. ‘We’re people too, Roz. We’re entitled to lead our own lives, and I’m going to lead mine.’
    â€˜It’s no good saying anything to him,’ Flo murmured, struggling to her feet. ‘He’s made up his mind, girls – there’s nothing we can do.’ Leaning on Chrissie’s arm, she left her chair and began to move away. ‘I’ll – I’ll have to go to my bed now. I … don’t feel … so well. Roz, will you get me my pills? Chrissie, help me, will you?’
    For some time after his mother had gone to bed accompanied by his sisters, Dougal sat on by the range, smoking a cigarette and staring into space, his handsome face blank, smoothed free of all emotion. When Roz and Chrissie finally reappeared, saying they thought their mother would soon be sleeping, thanks to her pills, he ground out his cigarette and stared at them without speaking.
    â€˜Well, what are you going to do?’ asked Roz, pulling up a chair, as Chrissie said she was going to put on the kettle and make sandwiches.
    â€˜I’m starving, eh? Worn out with all this trouble.’
    â€˜There shouldn’t have been any trouble,’ Dougal stated. ‘Ma talks about me getting my own way, but she’s the one who wants hers, and usually gets it, too. Not this time, though.’
    â€˜I asked you what you were going to do,’ said Roz.
    â€˜I’ve told you. Get my own way on this. I’m not giving in. Ever since Dad died we’ve fallen over backwards to look after Ma, and I’m not saying we shouldn’t take care of her, just that we have lives too and should be allowed to live ’em.’
    â€˜You know she’ll be depressed again!’ cried Chrissie from the table where she was slicing bread. ‘And if you’re away, it’ll be Roz and me that have to look after her. It’s not fair of you to put it all on us, is it, Roz?’
    â€˜I think he has a point,’ Roz said slowly. ‘We should be able to lead our own lives – I mean, that would be the ideal. But we don’t live in an ideal world, eh? And families count.’
    â€˜What d’you mean, then? You think Dougal should go and we should take care of Ma?’
    â€˜Well, Ma’s here and she does need taking care of. What else can we do?’
    â€˜You happy about that, Dougal?’ Chrissie