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and you never will get to the three questions at the end of the test.”
    Silence reigned.
    We took the quiz.
    Or rather, the class took the quiz. I had difficulty even taking hold of the pencil.
    The rest of the morning was like one great final exam. There was but one question: Would I cry in public, or would I last till I got home?
    It wasn’t so much that kids were being mean. It was rather that Ashley had been mean, and my mother had fallen apart, and things were awful, and held every promise of getting more awful—and who wants a fascinated world to know that? I wanted to take my crush on Anthony and hug it to myself, and instead I was being pierced on every side by the general interest in Ashley. Nobody else had an older sister who brought nightmares wherever she went. They wanted the details.
    I didn’t have details.
    Just terrible raw emotions I didn’t want either.
    Their questions chewed at me, catching my skin. I began to look forward to lunch as the great escape. There would be more people there, with more time to ask questions, but I would sit with Cindy, and Cindy would be my buffer.
    I headed for the cold-lunch line, which was shorter than hot lunch. Mrs. Finelli, who was once Ash’s English teacher, said, “I hear your sister is home, Susan. I hope she’s well. And things are going right for her.”
    I had my stock answers ready now. “She’s fine,” I said. “It’s good to have the family complete.”
    â€œI’ll bet,” said Shepherd Grenville sarcastically, laughing to her friends, her fellow shining stars, who appeared behind me in the lunch line I had thought would be safe. “I’ll bet it’s really choice around your house right now, Beethoven. My older brother told me Ash was really insane. She wanted fame enough to stand on anyone. Kick anyone! Knife anyone!”
    â€œJust like you, huh, Sheppie?” said Whit Moroso.
    Shepherd does not like to be upstaged. Especially by a delinquent like Whit she would normally never even speak to. Shepherd fans glared at Whit. Whit stared back at them until they flinched and looked away. He really has a criminal aura. Not Shepherd’s super-prep style at all.
    â€œThank you, Whit,” I murmured. I chose a cheese sandwich and Lime Jell-O. We always have gourmet cuisine in our school.
    â€œAny time.” He walked past me without looking at me, which I did not mind, because Whit frightens me. And yet he had stood up for me twice in a row.
    It was too confusing to consider.
    Shepherd said sharply, “Beethoven, how far have you gotten with your plans for the music division?”
    I stared at her. Twenty-four hours had passed and I was supposed to be able to present the details already? “No place,” I said irritably. I tried to think why she was attacking me like this, and then it occurred to me—Ashley. Shepherd was afraid some of that ugly crude cheap behavior would somehow rub off. After all, she had put me in a position of importance on her yearbook. Ashley and the Hall family might be infectious.
    Yearning for comfort I sat down next to Cindy. My thoughts were fragmented and my body felt worse, as if I were coming down with flu. Cindy will make it all better, I thought, turning to her. She’ll say—big deal, so they’re interested in Ash. It’ll be a one-day wonder. Tomorrow they’ll have forgotten. And say, don’t you think Anthony is spending a lot of time looking your way? Don’t you think maybe Anthony has a crush on you?
    Cindy bounced in her chair, patted mine noisily, as if she and the chair were clapping. She had a bite of my cheese sandwich before I did, to see if mine was fresher than hers, and she said, “Tell me all about it, Susan. I am like absolutely dying. You didn’t even call me up. I don’t know a single thing. Now tell us everything. Is she on drugs? Is she still with that last rock group? Is she all