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asking an unreasonable favor, if you would not consent to stop, at this point, if you are smiling?…You see, some of these experiences of mine have meant a great deal to me, emotionally. I don’t believe I should want them laughed at…If the thing hasn’t gripped you a little by now, put it down, please, and think no more about it…If however you seriously wish to proceed, let me counsel you, as Randolph counseled me, that you are taking hold of high tension! Once you have touched it, you will never be able to let go…If you are of the temperament that demands self-indulgence to keep you happy and confident enough to do your work, and many inestimably valuable people are so built and cannot help it any more than tall men can help being tall, leave all this alone, and go your way!…For if you make an excursion into this, you’re bound! It will plaster a mortgage on everything you think you own, and commandeer your time when you might prefer to be using it for yourself…It is very expensive…It took the man who discovered it to a cross at the age of thirty-three!

5
    At Home
October 27, 1913, 2 A.M.
    I was required to stop writing last night because of a summons to the hospital and now I find that I cannot go to bed without finishing what I had meant to say. This subject is not to be taken lightly and I hope to safeguard you against any misdirected experiments.
    It is important that you should know how serious are the conditions to be met by any man who hopes to increase his own power by the way of the technique I pursued under instructions from Randolph.
    I must mention them at this juncture, because it is quite possible these words may be read by some impulsive enthusiast who, eager to avail himself of the large rewards promised, may attempt experiments from which he will receive neither pleasure nor benefit; and, dismayed by failure, find himself worse off in mind than he was before.
    Indeed, this was my own experience at first, Randolph having neglected to warn me that certain conditions were imperative to success. I learned them by trial and error.
    It must be borne in mind, at the outset, that no amount of altruistic endeavor, no matter how costly, can possibly benefit the donor, if he has in any manner neglected the natural and normal obligations to which he is expected to be sensitive. Not only must he be just before attempting to be generous; he must figure this particular investment of himself as a higher altruism, quite other than mere generosity.
    Every conceivable responsibility must have had full attention before one goes in search of opportunity to perform secret services to be used for the express purpose of expanding one’s personality that it may become receptive of that inexplicable energy which guarantees personal power.
    My own life had been set in narrow ways. I had had but small chance to injure or defraud, even had I been of a scheming disposition. There had been a minimum of buying and selling in my program. I had lived mostly under strict supervision, in school, in college, and as an interne, with no chance to make many grave or irretrievable blunders.
    Once I began to discharge my obligations, however, it was startling to note how considerably I was in the red. For example: I found that there were a good many men, scattered here and there, who had been scratched off my books. Either actually, or to all practical intents, they had been told to go to hell. In some cases, there had been enough provocation to justify my pitching them out of my life, I thought. But, more often than otherwise, they were to be remembered as persons with whom I had sustained some manner of close contact, close enough to make a disruption possible. I discovered that almost without exception the people I had pushed away from me, consigned to hell, if you like, were once intimately associated with me…So far as I was concerned they had gone to hell taking along with them a very considerable part of me!
    To lose a