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lucky
guy?”
    She sighed. “That person
was you, Josiah. I’ve broken many, many hearts. But you were the
first to break mine.”
    I felt wounded. “I’m
sorry. I have always respected and loved you deeply; I just needed
to place you in the appropriate place in my life.”
    “ I know you did. It wasn’t
in the cards for us. I just wish it would have been. It would have
been nice to be your destiny. More than nice.”
    “ We cannot undo what or
who we are,” I said terribly surprised that this conversation went
in this direction.
    “ I know. I can’t get that
image of you out of my head.”
    “ Which one?” I
said.
    “ What I heard Krull did to
you, on that mechanical, metal crucifix. And how you survived it,
and thrived.”
    “ Ah, it wasn’t so bad. I
think it got some kinks out.”
    “ I heard it was a
nightmare.”
    “ It was a long time
ago.”
    “ I know.”
    “ I don’t like to think
about that day,” I confessed.
    “ That day always bothered
me,” she said.
    “ Why?”
    “ None of us were there for
you,” Yari said.
    “ One person was,” I
said.
    “ How is Atticai?” Yari
asked remembering it was Atticai who swept in and saved me on that
day. That was a long time ago. Atticai had different problems on
this day.
    “ Donya is still very
sick,” I said, risking revealing sensitive information, but I
trusted Yari as a sister and knew Atticai did also.
    “ Do we know yet what’s
wrong?” Yari asked, with a sincerity that was honest and
loving.
    “ I think they know, but
they are just keeping it a secret.”
    “ People do what they got
to do.”
    “ I hear that.”
    Then Yari changed the
subject. “How are Lena and the boys?”
    I knew what she was really
asking, what she really wanted to know...if I was really happy. “I
have no regrets,” I said, nodding in a way that Yari would know
that Lena was still the love of my life.
    She nodded back. Her eyes
pleaded with me for a scrap of my heart, the tiniest piece. I did
love Yari, but, out of necessity, I was careful to keep her in this
valiant and pure place in my head. She was still very beautiful.
And so was her heart. I was not completely immune. But Lena and the
boys were very grounding for me. They were the only semblance of
normalcy in an otherwise remarkable existence.
    “ Don’t stop talking to me,
Yari,” I said carefully. “Just because you are leaving doesn’t mean
you have to end our friendship. We have history, much of it very
good.”
    Yari gently kissed me on
the side of the cheek. “I’ll keep in touch.” Then she left my life
for a while. I caught up with her a couple of years later. We had
seen each other a few times over the years, but nothing was ever
like when we had all lived together in Victorville.
    Over the years, my
faithful sidekicks Wyatt and Hector did the same as Yari. They,
too, had passed out of my life, and except for my family, at times,
I felt very alone. They didn’t declare their love for me on the way
out, not the way Yari had, but they were emotional goodbyes to say
the least.
    Wyatt and Hector were my
comrades, my brothers in arms, not to mention that Hector was my
benefactor. Hector assured me that I would never have to worry
about money. I believed him because no one had been more diligent
about making sure his dear friends were taken care of. Hector was a
great man. Wyatt was just a great guy, too. He was there for my
family when I needed it most, back in the day. I would always owe
him a debt of gratitude.
     
     

Chapter Seven
     
    Here I was, many years later,
preparing myself for just about anything to go down tomorrow. I
finally decided to get up. I very slowly got out of bed so as not
to wake up Lena. I left my wife in the room alone. I was certain of
my wife’s safety. No one would dare enter my castle. Not unless
they had a death wish.
    My reputation, by this point, was that
most people would think it was in their best interest to leave me
alone. I headed down the hallway and