Read Dirty Sign Language: Everyday Slang from "What's Up?" to "F*%# Off!" (Dirty Everyday Slang) for Free Online

a…

     
     

    brewskie.

     
     

    whiskey.

     
     

    vodka.

     
     

    tequila.

     
     

    mixed drink.

     
     

    margarita.

     
     

    shot.

     

••••• Getting high
     
    Slurring your words when drunk or stoned is a universal occurrence—even in sign language. Don’t be surprised if your hands don’t want to say what your brain is thinking or if you lose track of what you’re talking about when you have to use your hands to stop yourself from face-planting on the ground. Some deaf people will switch from Signed Exact English to American Sign Language—which is kind of like hearing someone with perfect grammar start saying sentences backward.
     

    Got any…?

     
     

    Where can I get some…?

     
     

    drugs

     
     

    weed

     
     

    coke

     
     

    X

     
     

    ’shrooms

     

     
     

    I’m wasted!

     
     

    I’m hungover.

     
     

    I need to puke.

     
     

    He/She just passed out!

     

CHAPTER 4
     
    BODY SIGN LANGUAGE
     
    If you wanna survive in deaf culture, pay attention to your body language. Trying to compliment someone? Be sure you make and keep eye contact otherwise they may not even know you are talking to them and your best line is missed. Also smile (you’re being friendly right?) and nod to show you appreciate what you’re complimenting. On the other hand, if you’re talking shit about someone and you don’t want them to see, turn your back to shield what your signing and use smaller gestures—the sign version of whispering. Keep in mind if you don’t want to get caught, don’t point or make eye contact with the person your are talking about!
     
     

    You have such…

     
     

    pretty eyes.

     
     

    a hot bod.

     
     

    a nice face.

     
     

    a huge rack.

     
     

    a beer belly.

     
     

    a fugly face.

     

     
     

    a cute ass.

     
     

    a fat ass.

     
     

    He/She is…

     
     

    cute.

     
     

    beautiful.

     
     

    really hairy.

     
     

    sexy.

     
     

    skinny.

     
     

    fine.

     
     

    stylish.

     
     

    chunky.

     

••••• Bodily functions
     
     

    I just…

     
     

    pissed. (rude one only)

     
     

    took a nasty shit.

     
     

    ripped a horrendous fart.

     
     

    puked.

     

••••• Getting sick
     
     

    I feel sick.

     
     

    I have…

     
     

    the runs/squirts.

     
     

    constipation.

     
     

    a headache.

     
     

    my period.

     
     

    a stomach ache.

     
     

    to go to the bathroom.

     
     

    I feel like crap.

     

CHAPTER 5
     
    HORNY SIGN LANGUAGE
     
    Congratulations! You’ve just met some seriously smokin’ deafie at the bar and, using your dirty new signs, things are going smashingly well. We’re happy to take all the credit. Unfortunately, you’ve gotten to the point where it’s time to make your move and take this hottie home. Feeling a little nervous? You’re probably wondering if your regular moves and foreplay are going to cross the language barrier. Not to worry, we’ve got you covered.
     
    First off, flirting and talking dirty is incredibly fun in sign language—you can do right in public and nobody catches a thing. Sure, you might make your soon-to-be partner blush, but those nasty things you’re saying are for their eyes only.
     
    Once you’re alone and things are getting hot, feel free let your hands go silent and focus on more important things. Facial expressions and body language are the key to good foreplay when your hands are occupied and you can’t be heard, so pay attention and save your lingual dexterity for the fun stuff.

••••• Fucking
     
     

    I wanna …

     
     

    Let’s go to your place and…

     
     

    fuck.

     
     

    have a quickie.

     
     

    make a twin sandwich.

     
     

    tossed salad.

     
     

    dry hump.

     
     

    I’m horny.

     
     

    I’d like to bone her.

     
    VOLUME CONTROL: DO YOU HAVE IT?〉〉〉
     
    Being deaf and not knowing how much sound you’re making can lead to some fun situations. What happens when your deaf girlfriend has