Read Dicking Around for Free Online

attitude on life. Whine. Bitch. Moan . She looked at the ever-so-perfect-not-a-hair-out-of-place Neil. The Groom. Sucker. She heard Bridget draw a breath.
    “Finished?”
    Bridget sighed. “This is why I didn’t want you in the wedding party.”
    “And lord knows I thank you for that as bilious green is so not my color.”
    “Bitch!” Bridget yelled and stamped her foot.
    “Cow,” Carlisle responded overly politely.
    “Girls, please!” Lydia Carson came up to her daughters.
    Bridget turned on her sister. “She started it, mother. You should have seen how I found her at her house the other day. She was nak—”
    Carlisle yanked her sister’s arm so she banged into her. She whispered in Bridget’s ear.
    “Say another word and I’ll tell the man of plastic Neil about your liaison with Mr. Phelps and the female hockey coach in the nurse’s room at school. Can you say strap-on, Bridg?”
    Their mother stared at them. “What is going on between you girls?”
    “Nothing.” They both said at the same time.
    “Try and act with a bit of decorum, Carlisle.”
    Yeah it’s always my fault. Never perfectly anal Bridget’s .

    “Have you got a dress for tomorrow?” Both women looked at Carlisle.
    “Yes of course.” Sorta. Kinda. Well—no. I probably should look into that .
    “Are you going to have an escort?” Her mother asked.
    “Why?” Carlisle said it purely to piss her mother off. Lydia saw the world in perfectly coordinated male-female couples.
    Well, he should be here.”
    Carlisle snorted. “To listen to this crap?”
    “Carlisle!”
    “Actually, I have three ‘escorts’.”
    Bridget roiled her eyes. “Disgusting.”
    “What? Pissed off that you’re stuck with marrying a Ken doll?”
    “Neil is not !”
    “Whatever.” Carlisle turned to her mother. She had no connection other than blood to these women and at times even that wasn’t enough. “Do I have to stay for this?”
    “Maybe it would be better if you left,” Lydia responded. “And please remember to bring those data sticks with you tomorrow.”
    Carlisle had placed all the old family albums on USB sticks. Her mother wanted to show them at the wedding. And bore everyone’s socks off.
    “Great. Yep, Sure. Whatever.” I’m free!
    “Drop dead,” the bride muttered at Carlisle as she passed by.
    “After you, Barbie.”

    ****
“Stick your hands up.” Theo came up behind Carlisle.
    She turned around. “Oh you’re fucking joking.” She had just finished dealing with idiots and now more crossed her path.
    “I have a gun.”
    “Oh yeah? Where.”
    Theo pointed it at her. “Here.” Another man and a woman came to stand beside him.
    Carlisle saw the glint of a steel barrel in the moonlight. “Hmm, so you do.” For some reason she didn’t feel threatened by the two men and the woman. They didn’t match up somehow. The men? Yes. The woman? Nope. “Who’s she?”

    “We don’t know,” Mickey answered.
    “Right. Well, it sounds like it’s all going well for the three of you so far.”
    “Shut up!” Amber yelled at Carlisle.
    It had been a long day. Gun or no gun she wasn’t in the mood for this. “What do you lot want?” All three of them spoke at the same time.“Whoa! All I got out of that was a load of mumbo jumbo.”
    Theo spoke first. “You have an article that belongs to us.”
    That surprised Carlisle. “What?”
    “You bought a box of crap from a garage sale over the weekend.”
    “Correct.” She had thrown most of it out. A few things she kept thinking they would be useful later.
    “Where is it?”
    “In the dumpster at home.”
    Theo looked angry. “Why didn’t you tell us that? We’ve wasted so much time.”
    “Like that’s my fault. Until five seconds ago, sunshine, I didn’t even know you.” A thought came to her. “Did you steal my handbag?
    Theo said ‘no’ at the same time Mickey said ‘yes’.
    “Riiiight,” Carlisle murmured wondering how this pair of thieves made a living if