Master. I can’t be both to you. I fucked up, ” I say in shame.
She just sits on the couch and sobs. It’ s my job to make the tears stop. I can’t- she needs this reality check.
“Rule change, chick, we tried it your way and you betrayed me. I’ve treated you as a girlfriend with negative results. Since y ou think so little of yourself then I think it’s time I treat you as you see yourself.”
I pull a collar out of my jacket pocket . I walk over to her and gaze down at her shocked expression. I buckle the black leather around her throat skimming my fingers along her skin. That small amount of contact almost brings me to my knees.
“Did you know that if you fear something enough and you waste all of your energy on that fear you will bring it to fruition? You fear that you’ re inadequate, that I will think less of you. Your fear made you think so little of yourself that you stooped to a level I wouldn’t forgive. In essence you mani fested your own fear. Now I see you as weak and unable to make your own decisions. You will no longer make any decisions because I can’t trust you with your own wellbeing . I’ve allowed you to be my girlfriend in our daily life and my submissive at the club . From now on you are my submissive twenty-four-seven. ”
My conversation about training a proper submissive and the results of the untrained running fre e brought me clarity. I’ m a trained Master dominant strong enough to train others, yet my own submissive has never truly submit ted. She will submit and learn her lesson or I will cut her free no matter how much I love her. I’ m disappointed in myself for allowing this farce to evo lve over the past two years. I’ve ruined w hat little self-esteem she had .
“Your will is mine. Your thoughts are mine. Your internal dialogue is mine. Your pleasure is mine. Your pain is mine. You are mine in every sense of the word. I own you, ” I declare.
I walk from the room and run to the basement. When I enter my soundproof , home du ngeon I scream- I scream as a d ying man taking his last breath. I have to treat a woman I love and respect at the level you’d treat a dog. No matter how many times I repeat that it’s for her own good, that she needs to learn her self-worth, i t seems wrong that the only way to accomplish it is by removing all the worth she has.
My wish for our future was a partnership with each of us holding our own. I love playing with her in the dungeon and making love to her in our bedroom. I have Tobias to fill my sadistic needs. I don’t want that from her. I wanted a partnership. I now realize that she needs me to dominate her to feel whole. I’ve fucked this up and I hope I can fix it.
My plan solidifies as I head back into the living room. I feel a little better after screaming out my frustrations. I find Monica exactly where I left her, only she is crying heavier. Well, perhaps she is learning that I own her now.
“Have you bathed?” I keep my voice calm. I sound rough from the yelling.
“Yes, M aster,” she sniffles as she answers.
“No more crying, Monica . I want details , how clean are you?”
“Yes, Master, no more crying.” I watch as she shores up her confidence, sitting up straighter and holding her head high. Good, that is a very good thing.
“I’ve showered and bathed. I ‘ ve used two douches trying to remove all traces of Dalton from me.” Her voice sounds as dead as the look in her eye s . I close my eyes when she mentions him by name.
“Did he go inside of you?” I ask sadly. I’ve never had the pleasure with her. Even in a monogamous relationship and with her on birth control , I’ve never been bare inside her. If he did he better fucking hide because I’ m going reaper on his ass.
“No, I made him wear two condoms.” I sigh loudly in relief. He lives another day.
“Did he use his mouth on you?” I find the act of licking a woman an intimate experience. I only do it with those I’m closest to. The