before, crazy as that sounded.
âAnd so itâs come to this, taking advice from my dog again.â
He wagged his tail as I stroked his head. I decided it wouldnât be a bad idea to call Shannon; I still had her number. If she picked up, Iâd just disconnect, knowing she was fine. No need to torture myself with the future Iâd lost, though I was building a shop that could accommodate her desire for us to do vintage clothing as well as trinkets. Just in case. That meant I hadnât entirely given up hope.
My heart pounded unpleasantly as I hit speed dial. She was my first contact. Best friend. Kid sister. Apprentice. All those words applied to how I felt about Shannon Cheney, but none was quite big enough. Losing her hurt worse than anything ever had, even my breakup with Chance. And Iâd loved
him
like a madness.
International cell calls took a while to connect, and then it rang. And rang. Five times, then it kicked to voice mail. Unease stole over me.
Maybe she didnât answer because she didnât recognize your number. The note isnât talking about her. It canât be
.
Jesse came next on my phone. It had been that way from before, and so Chance was further down the speed dial, like number seven. I hadnât changed it, full of superstitious fear that if I moved Shannon, it would be the same as accepting she wouldnât ever remember me. Itâd be like giving up on herâon our friendship and our plansâand that I would
not
do.
So she was one. Jesse, two. I wrestled with indecision, but before I could make up my mind, my phone rang back. Shannonâs number.
Thank you.
I shouldnât answer it, but on the off chance that things were starting to come back to her, I had to.
âHello?â
Silence on the line, for a beat too long. And then: âYou just called my girlfriendâs phone. Who is this?â
Jesse
. The revelation felt like a fist in the heart. Maybe I shouldnât have been so surprised. She was young for him, but ten years or so wasnât the end of the world in terms of age difference.
What did you expect? You leftthem together with no memory of you, no recollection of why they mattered to each other. It was natural for them to fill in the blanks
.
Shannon had just enough issues to hit Jesseâs white knight complexâ¦and she was alone in the world, apart from the dad she didnât want to see. She needed him. There was no way he could resist. Still, it hurt, though things were good with Chance. The pain existed because their hookup made me feelâ¦replaceable. I squeezed my eyes shut, listening to Jesse breathe.
âWell?â he demanded. He sounded odd. Angry.
Finally, I answered, âShe was a friend. I havenât talked to her in a while.â
Hoping that would be enough. I couldnât drag this out. Couldnât.
âHave we met? Your voice soundsâ¦familiar.â Now he seemed unsettled. I pictured him raking his hand through his tawny hair.
âYeah.â No point in lying.
But that reply opened the door to more questions, answers he wouldnât believeâor maybe he would. Maybe the fog was finally lifting. Too late. Too damn late. Theyâd moved on without me. I felt cheated and hurt but not angry. And not even surprised, really. Back in Kilmer, Iâd seen the beginnings of a crush forming on Shannonâs end, though Iâd never thought it would go anywhere. Under normal circumstances, they wouldnât have done this. Fuck. I had to get off the phone.
âJust have her call me, I guess, when she gets a chance.â
âIâd love to.â But his tight tone caught me, and it left so many questions. He was too upset to wonder when heâd met me, this mysterious friend of Shannonâs, and that meant the bad things promised by the note on Tiaâs front gate had come true.
âBut?â
Why donât you hang up? Idiot
.
âI donât know where