Read Determinant -Guardians of Vesturon [3] for Free Online Page B

genuinely written all over her face.
    “I’ll be fine Maddie. I appreciate your concern but honestly…”
    She placed her arm on mine and halted my words, “Do you want to talk about it? I know something’s wrong and I may not be able to help, but I’m a good listener.”
    I felt guilty not giving her what she wanted, but I couldn’t bear to open up that topic. I just couldn’t do it. I hung my head because I dared not look into her eyes. Tears were close to escaping and if that dam broke, no telling when the flood would end.
    I cleared my throat and finally eked out, “Thanks Maddie. Your concern’s touching, and I do appreciate you…I really do. But I’ll be fine.” I had reined in my emotions so I was able to look her in the eye. Her pity was palpable. I had to get away from her…and fast or I would lose it. I turned and quickly walked away.
    Maddie had dealt with issues of her own, losing both of her parents by the time she was eighteen. Cat, on the other hand, grew up in a houseful of rambunctious kids—four to be exact, with Cat being the second oldest. Her home life might have been warm and loving, but her family’s financial situation wasn’t the best. I didn’t know the specifics, but I knew it was bad enough that she might have to move home to Asheville. I know either of them would have been great sounding boards for me, and perhaps it may have eased my anxiety a bit, but I simply couldn’t bring myself to speak of my situation with them.
    The one thing I did talk to them about was how fiercely I missed my little brother and sister. I craved their company…yearned to hear their sweet voices and hold their warm little bodies in my arms. Not being able to at least talk with them made my belly fist up in knots every time I thought of it. I often wrote them sweet little notes, but I was positive my mother didn’t pass them along. I swore to myself that someday, I would find a way to talk with them and they would learn the truth from me.

 

Chapter 5
    Christmas was fast approaching and finals were consuming my every spare moment. I wasn’t sleeping much and couldn’t wait to get my exams behind me. It seemed that’s how I spent the entire semester…hoping time would fly and move me to the next stage.
    My grades were finally posted online and I was not pleased with my results. I made a 3.2, which was okay, but not nearly high enough for my standards. I should have expected as much with the hours I was working. I was averaging three to four hours of sleep per night. At this rate, I wouldn’t make it to forty. College wasn’t turning out to be the great experience I had prayed it would be. Way to go January!
    Everyone left and I found myself back in the little efficiency motel for the holidays. The university closed the dorms for the three-week period.
    Maddie called me the day after I received my grades.
    “How did you make out with your grades January?”
    “I ended up with a 3.2,” I said sullenly.
    “That’s awesome!” Maddie exclaimed.
    “Not really. If I want to get into med school, I need at least a 3.8 or better.”
    “January, you’re so smart, you’ll get those grades up. I know you will. I can’t believe you did that well, with all the hours you work. I don’t know how you did it.”
    “Thanks Maddie. It wasn’t easy. I will say that,” I said earnestly.
    “That’s an understatement. Well, I’m getting my stuff ready for my backpacking trip. I’m up on the trail for Christmas and then I’m going to drive down to the Keys for some fun in the sun!” her voice radiated excitement.
    “I’m so jealous. Soak in some rays for me, will you?”
    “You bet!”
    “Hey, be careful up there. Don’t forget to take that bear pepper spray stuff you talk about!”
    Maddie started chuckling. “Don’t worry, I won’t! I’ll see you in January, January!”
    “Ha ha! Very funny!”
    *****
    As I drove to work one day, I marveled at the view. Initially, I had dreaded this