again as
I turn the key in the ignition.
Good work .
I rub my forehead. Good work. Should make me feel proud but
I just feel like shit.
Chapter Seven
Jo
My leg bounces on the floor as I try to lose myself in an
episode of Scandal , but it ain't happening. I want to jump out of my
skin. There haven't been any leads in the "Gas Station Murders," as
the news is calling them. At first my neighbors were gathering nervously by the
mailboxes, whispering their theories about gang-related activity, but that died
down after only a couple days. I think they just want to forget. I wish I
could. I hear my phone ring and practically launch myself across the couch to check
the caller ID. My stomach drops a little as I see that it's Elise.
"Hey," I answer guiltily.
"Hey, yourself. I can't believe I'm finally hearing
your voice! It's been days!"
"It's been like five days."
"Yeah— days! " she exclaims. "Now I know
I'm probably just beating my head against a brick wall here…" she pauses
dramatically, "but do you want to come out tonight?"
"God, yes," I answer, so quickly that I surprise
even myself.
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah, I gotta get outta my apartment." And outta
my own head. I hold the phone at a distance as Elise emits a high-pitched
squeal on the other end.
Just under an hour later, I'm heading out of the apartment.
I have on a pair of sexy patent leather heels, skinny jeans, a low-cut silk
blouse, and a mound of black eyeliner. I feel a bit like I'm wearing a costume,
and I think that's the point. Elise beeps as she sees me walking out of my
building. Her music is blaring out of her car and she's bouncing in her seat as
I hop in the passenger side. She leans over an open Red Bull in her cup holder
to give me a hug.
"Damn, you look good," she says. She looks sexy as
ever, of course. She's a willowy brunette who always has guys following her
around. She comes off as such a party girl, but I know she's actually way more
traditional than me at heart—wants the cookie-cutter house, two kids, the whole
thing. I tried that life on for size and found it didn't fit me at all.
"Down to try a new cocktail place?" she asks, flipping her hair the
rearview mirror and pulling out.
"Sure, you know the places to go more than me."
"You OK?" She glances at me out of the corner of
her eye as I busy myself with my phone so I don't have to look at the gas
station as we drive by.
"Yeah, just haven't been sleeping that well, for some
reason."
"You waiting for a call?" she asks, raising her
eyebrow at my cell.
"Well…I did sort of meet someone," I hedge as she
speeds up to make it through a traffic light.
"Oh god, finally!" she cries. "You're
probably a virgin again by this point."
"Yeah, I don't think that's a thing."
"Whatever. Who is he? You have a picture?"
"OK, I did, you know, do just a bit of online… research ,
but he's like a ghost. No Facebook account, no photos. I did find a website for
the landscaping company he owns, which I honestly thought he was kidding about,
but no pictures there either."
"So use your words, my dear!" Elise says,
affecting a British accent.
"Um, tall…muscular, very muscular. Dark brown
hair, longish, which I wouldn't have said I like before, but it works on him.
And he seems interested, but…"
"Bad kisser?"
"Oh, god no. Amazing kisser. I mean, just…beyond."
I reply, a shiver running through me at the memory. And then I remember how I
burst into tears in front of him minutes before that and blanch. "But I'm
not sure if it's such good timing…I have a lot going on."
Elise actually starts laughing. "What, Billy's?"
"Hey!"
"I'm sorry, girl, but I don't think that place is
exactly taking it out of you." She glances at me as I look down at my
hands. I can't tell her what the problem really is. She misinterprets my
silence. "It's just, you're capable of so much more. You just have to
figure out what you want to do." Well, she's right about that.
"I just feel like I lost a lot of