Read Desperately Seeking Heaven for Free Online Page B

then they’ll come for you and you can… um… get taken across… to… well, um, you know.’
    ‘Hmm, you make it sound like the dustbin collections. If they don’t pick up one week, they’ll catch you second time around. I’m not sure it quite works like that.’
    ‘Do you have any better ideas?’ I snapped.
    Jimmy sighed, dropping his head backwards and gazing up at the ceiling.
    ‘No, not at the moment. I don’t. I’m just trying to lighten the atmosphere, that’s all.’
    ‘Well, in that case, if you don’t mind, can we have a go at doing things my way please?’
    ‘Do I have to come?’
    I’d pulled the car over into side of the road where I’d stopped only yesterday, not knowing at that point my life was about to take such a weirdly unexpected turn. In the half-light, the field gave no clue to the horrors it had witnessed, but the stillness that had been so apparent in daylight only seemed magnified in the eerie twilight.
    ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you have to come. What would be the point in me going on my own? It’s you that we’re trying to get despatched, after all.’
    Jimmy winced, looking at me through narrowed eyes and I immediately regretted my choice of words. To be honest, I wanted nothing more than to turn around and take him home to the safety of my flat, but I knew that wouldn’t have helped either of us.
    ‘I’m just not sure this is a good idea, that’s all. For God’s sake, Alice, this is where it all happened. I really don’t think I need to be re-visiting the scene of my death. It’s too soon, it’s not natural.’
    I turned my head to look at him and he grasped my hand, as though it were the most natural thing in the world, our fingers instantly interlocking.
    ‘I know this is difficult, Jimmy, but you being stuck in this state of limbo isn’t natural either. I’m worried for you. This has been devastating for everyone concerned, but we can’t change what’s happened. What we can do is try our hardest to make sure you end up where you should be and I’m pretty certain that isn’t meant to be in my little flat. You should be out there,’ I pointed into the distance through the windscreen, ‘with your own… your own type.’
    I cringed. He cringed. There was no easy way to say these things.
    ‘You make it sound so very appealing.’ He laughed, tipping his head back on the car seat. His strongly defined jawline, the tilt of his chin, the tiny dimple at the corner of his mouth were highlighted in profile, making my heart twist with longing.
    ‘Come on,’ he said, leaning over and tracing a finger down the length of my cheek. ‘Let’s get this over with then.’
    Outside the sky had darkened further and I dug my hands into my jacket pockets wondering why I’d ever thought this was a good idea. An icy chill ran down the length of my body as my eyes searched out the spot where the wreckage had strewn the countryside.
    ‘At least the car has gone now.’
    ‘Yeah, I really loved that car,’ he said wistfully. ‘I’d only had it three months. Just had it valeted too. Still, I don’t suppose I’d have much use for it now.’
    ‘Don’t think about it,’ I said feeling guilty that I was putting him through such an ordeal. ‘It was over here.’ I led him by the hand across the uneven ground, trying to work out the least hazardous path in the darkness. ‘I don’t suppose you have a torch with you, do you?’
    ‘Oh yes, I have one right here in my jacket pocket,’ he said tightly. ‘No, Alice, I do not have a torch with me.’
    ‘All right, it was just an idea. Look we’re here now anyway. You can see the flattened grass. See.’ I bent down, sweeping my palm across the ground.
    ‘Great. Brings back such happy memories.’ Jimmy wrapped his arms around his chest looking totally disinterested. ‘So what do you suggest we do now then?’
    ‘I think we need to take a moment of silent reflection. Give thanks for your life and then ask our