glass, not looking up.
“Then I would take off my panties and bend over. Thank God it didn’t last longer than a minute or two. When he’d finished, I pulled on my panties and went to get cleaned up.”
When she tried to stand to refill her glass with water, Nat nudged her back in her seat to get it for her.
Running the water, Nat looked out the window into the agonized expressions on the men’s faces. Clay and
Rio looked like they wanted to kill somebody and Jake didn’t look much better.
Jesse’s sad voice carried to the window. “I haven’t been kissed or held in so long, Nat.”
Nat couldn’t stand anymore. With a last glance at Clay and
Rio, she returned to the table, determination in her step.
“Honey, Clay and
Rio would love to kiss you, among other things. I want you to give them a chance.”
“I can’t, Nat.”
“Why not? Those two are crazy about you already. I want you to at least spend some time with them.”
“What would be the point? Don’t you understand? I can’t laugh. I can’t cry. Not with anyone, except Alex. With anyone else, the rest is dead.”
“It is if you’re going to keep barriers between you and the rest of the world,” Nat argued.
“You still don’t understand.” Jesse sighed tiredly and Nat’s heart broke. “It isn’t a choice for me. I don’t know how to take the barriers down. They’ve been a part of me for so long. I just don’t know how to feel anything anymore.”
“Bullshit!” Nat stood with her hands on her hips and regarded her sister. “Are you trying to tell me that you didn’t feel anything for me when you hugged me at the airport?”
Jesse blinked in surprise.
“You forget how well I know you, Jesse. A person doesn’t change that much. You’re not Brian’s Jessica anymore! You’re Jesse, damn it!”
“Nat, you don’t understand.”
“Oh, I understand very well,” Nat told her. “I saw the way you’ve been watching them. Did you think I missed the way you reacted to them this afternoon? I saw you get all flustered. You looked more alive than I’ve seen you since you got here!
“Do you think I didn’t see how you blushed every time one of them looked at you or touched you at dinner? I saw the way you kept staring at their lips and licking yours. I saw the way you stared at their hands. You imagined them on you, didn’t you? I may be older than you, honey, but I’m not old. They interest you and whether you want to admit it or not, they arouse you.”
Jesse could feel her panic building. Jeez, have a few drinks and open your mouth and look what happens. She began to suspect Nat had an ulterior motive for having Jake make those margaritas.
Angry now, she turned on her sister. “Damn it, Nat! What am I supposed to do? Just spread my legs for them? Have a fling and move on? Do you really think that men like that are going to be happy fucking a woman who can’t come?”
“Men like what?” Nat asked.
“Like them!” She gestured to the back yard. She hoped they couldn’t hear them. Since she hadn’t heard the men’s voices for quite a while, she assumed they must have gone somewhere else. “Have you looked at them? I know you love your husband but you can’t be blind! Clay and
Rio are drop dead gorgeous. Big and strong and muscular with asses you just want to take a bite out of!”
Nat smiled that knowing smile that she’d always worn whenever she’d won an argument. “Welcome back, Jesse, I’ve missed you.”
Jesse blinked in surprise.
“You’re crazy!” Jesse smiled indulgently at her sister, then quickly sobered. “This is just the margaritas talking. I’m different now. Nat. If I couldn’t please that lazy excuse for a husband I had, what makes you think I’m going to be able to satisfy two men who can have any woman they wanted?”
Nat smiled and leaned toward her. “Clay and
Rio are strong men with hearts of gold. They have been looking their whole lives for a woman they could both love and
Anieshea; Q.B. Wells Dansby