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create.”
    “Oh, man. I’m sorry.”
    “Yeah, it sucks, but I can’t change him,” he said. The other end of the line got quiet for a second. “So, what’s your sad story?”
    “My dad found out about my mom’s pregnancy and took off. She says it was for the best because I shouldn’t be a part of what his life was like, anyway, but I would still like to know who he was and why he didn’t want me. You know what it’s like not to have a father around. Well, yours is there, but not really. But there are times when I think I probably would have avoided a lot of the moves or had a different perspective on things if I would’ve had a father around. My mom has tried, but she can only do so much.”
    “Your mom has done an excellent job with you, though. You turned out great, but I know what you mean about wishing for something else. You know that quote, ‘It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all’?” Jaren asked.
    I turned onto my side and pulled my hair up to fan out over the pillow, so it wouldn’t crease. “Yeah, I’ve heard of it, but I don’t know who said it.”
    “Me, neither,” Jaren chuckled, then sighed. “But sometimes, I think it would’ve been better for me to never have known that my dad could be a great dad. Now, I know that he has the ability to be an awesome dad, but he’s not because he hates me. That’s the absolutely worst part for me.”
    “For me, it’s the not knowing. I hold onto that feeling of rejection that my dad left because of me, and I’m the reason he’s no longer with my mom. With your dad, his animosity is directed at you, but comes from someone else.”
    “Wow,” Jaren said, voice thick with emotion. “I have tried to tell myself that before, but I have always been able to talk myself out of it. When did you become so wise?”
    I smiled. I was giddy inside, and didn’t feel a tiny bit tired yet. It was like my mind was clear and my eyes were weightless.
    “Sometimes, it’s easier to see from the outside.”
    “Well, I’m glad that I have someone like you on the outside,” Jaren said.
    “Are you saying you want to keep me at a distance?”
    “No. You know what I mean.” We were quiet for a moment considering all that had been said. “What are you doing tomorrow night?” Jaren asked.
    “Kaitlynn and I are going dress shopping with her mom. One of her cousins is getting married and her mom needs to find something pink.”
    Jaren laughed. “Pink. That ought to be fun. Guess I won’t be seeing you after school then.”
    “Guess not. That’ll be kind of weird,” I said, missing him already. I had Jaren’s jacket snuggled up against my chest, and I pressed my face into the leather and wool. It smelled like him, fresh and crisp, like a breeze blown over a river. He reminded me of summer. Warmth and lazy days. Juicy fruits and fresh cut grass.
    “Are you still awake?” Jaren asked quietly. I must have lost myself in his scent for longer than I thought.
    “Yes, I’m still here,” I said, pushing the distraction of his jacket a little farther away from my face.
    “Are you getting tired yet?”
    “Not really. Why? Are you?” I didn’t want to hang up unless Jaren was getting tired.
    “A little bit. I should probably let you go. Just because you aren’t feeling tired right now doesn’t mean you won’t be exhausted tomorrow. I expect you fresh and witty in study hall tomorrow,” Jaren said with a stern tone.
    “You, too, then,” I laughed.
    “I’ll try. Sweet dreams, and see ya tomorrow.”
    I snuggled his jacket closer to my face in an effort to comfort myself after we hung up. I fell asleep shortly after with Jaren’s fresh scent lingering in my nose and his phantom lips brushing over my mouth.

 
    6
    He Was There
    When Kaitlynn and I pulled up to her house the next day after school, her mom was in frantic mode. She was a busy lady, an interior designer, which wasn’t a nine-to-five, so I could