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the top of his head indicated he was a demon, albeit a regal one. He looked like he’d just stepped out of a Renaissance novel, wearing a burgundy, gold-embroidered velvet tunic and black tights that fit his lean, tall form to perfection. He had slicked-back dark hair, ghostly pale skin, impossibly high cheekbones, an elegant nose, and full lips framed by a thin moustache and goatee. He would have been considered handsome, even debonair, except for the gleam in his beady, dark eyes, reminding me of a snake preparing to strike. Oh, and then there was the fact that his feet were hooves. What the hell? Was the guy part ram?
    Though instinct warned me who this man was, I didn’t want to believe it. But somehow I knew I was staring down the Devil himself, and Aedan and I were trapped in the thirteenth dimension of Hell.
    “Who the hell are you?” Aedan demanded.
    A slow, devious smile split the ram demon’s face in two, revealing two even rows of gleaming white teeth. He unfolded long, lean arms, holding out his hands in a form of mock surrender. “Who do you think I am?”
    I backed up a step, tugging on my fiancé’s sleeve. “Aedan, let’s get out of here.”
    The man took a step toward us, his eyes cool and calculating. “Relax. You’re in the right place.”
    Aedan clenched his fists, puffing up his chest as if he had a chance of defeating the Devil. “You and I both know that’s not true.”
    I tugged on Aedan’s sleeve again, my chest hurting so badly, I felt as if I were breathing through a straw, and not the fat kind found at a certain popular greasy, processed-food chain, but the skinny kind used to stir coffee and prevent brain freeze while slowly sipping frozen margaritas.
    “If you wouldn’t mind lending us a can of bug spray,” I squeaked, flashing the Devil a frozen smile, “and directing us to the nearest elevator, we’ll happily be on our way.”
    He folded his hands again, a look of mock contrition on his face. “Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t have any permanent elevators on sub-level thirteen.”
    “S-sub-level thirteen?” Aedan sputtered.
    “We definitely got off on the wrong floor,” I whispered as a chill swept up my spine. My fiancé and I were stuck on the bottom of Hell on our wedding day with no way out. Somehow I knew the Devil was behind it. Talk about a major asshole. This guy was the wedding crasher from Hell—literally. 
    “Of course you’re on the right floor.” The Devil laughed. “I’ve been planning this engagement party in your honor for years.”
    I vehemently shook my head. Clearly he had the wrong couple. Maybe once he realized his mistake, he’d let us go. Yeah, and maybe psychedelic monkeys would start flying out of my butt. “Years?  We’ve only been engaged a few months.”
    He frowned. “Yes, but time passes much slower at the bottom of the pit. What may feel like a few hours on level one is a lifetime down here.” He flashed a slow smile. “I imagine it will be a very long time before your friends in the pyramid even realize you’re missing.”
    My hand flew to my throat. “Oh God.”
    He jutted a hoof toward us, the nails-on-chalkboard sound of it scraping against the tile forcing me to shield my ears.
    “I’m sorry.” He chuckled. “He can’t hear you down here. Won’t you come enjoy the festivities?” He held out a hand, revealing perfectly manicured, long fingers. 
    Aedan and I both stepped back.
    “We’d rather not,” Aedan spoke through a stiff jaw.
    The Devil placed his hands in front of him, steepling his fingers in a prayer pose. “Oh, that’s a shame. I suppose I should acquaint you with my hotel rules now.” He let out a shrill whistle, the sound even more grating than his hooves striking the floor. “Hitler! Bring me the scroll!”
    Hitler? So that monkey thing with the swastika really was the former Nazi dictator? I shouldn’t have been surprised he’d fallen to the bottom of the flaming pit of doom. The guy had certainly