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yourself, what good is it going to do to be consumed with jealousy?”
    “Consumed with jealousy?” I echoed, wondering if that was really how I came across.
    She nodded. “Yeah. That’s how you seem to me, Jordan. It’s like it’s eating you alive that Shawna got Timothy back.”
    “But it was wrong,” I told her. “It should be against the rules to use sex to get a guy back.”
    Well, this made Ashley laugh so hard that I thought she was going to wet her pants or split a gut. “The rules?” she finally sputtered. “What rules, Jordan? Don’t you know there are no rules when it comes to this kind of thing?”
    “Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “All is fair in love and war. But you’d think when people were friends—”
    “Friends?” She looked at me like I was about three years old. “Did you really think that Shawna was your friend?”
    “We used to be good friends—”
    “No, I mean, after you moved in on her man. Did you honestly think she was your friend after that?”
    I considered this.
    “Get real, Jordan. Shawna was just using you, worming her way back into your world so she could get the upper hand and gain some control over what was going on with you and Timothy. Didn’t you get that?”
    I shook my head. Call me dumb or naive or just plain stupid, but I did not get that. “I thought she was my friend,” I said in a mousy voice.
    “It’s how the game is played,” she told me. “Sheesh, we’ve been playing it since middle school. I guess it really is new to you.” She pushed her empty plate away from her. “I suppose that does put you at a serious disadvantage, Jordan.”
    “You’re telling me .” I looked at her hopefully. “I’m open to any suggestions.”
    “That’s just it. Like I was telling you, I’m getting kind of sick of the game. I mean, maybe you’re just catching me on a bad day, but sometimes I just wish everyone would grow up.”
    Then I remembered something she’d said earlier. “But what about Brett Hawkins, Ashley? Would you lower yourself to play the game if you could get Brett back?”
    She shrugged.
    “You know that he and Shawna aren’t going out now. Did you see him leave last night? He looked pretty bummed,” I said.
    “Oh, right,” she said sarcastically. “Like I want to go get him on the freakin’ rebound. You bet!”
    “Yeah, I suppose that’s not such a good idea.”
    “If Brett and I are meant to be, then fine. But I’m not going to chase him.”
    “Right.” And I told myself I wouldn’t go chasing Timothy either, but unfortunately I didn’t exactly believe myself. We talked for a while longer, and I really tried to take her advice about letting things go. I even put on this happy mask face, like, Hey, everything’s cool . But the pitiful truth is there is this little something inside me that just won’t let it go.
    Later that afternoon as I left Ashley’s house, I couldn’t help but drive by Shawna’s place to see if Timothy’s car was there, which it wasn’t, and then by Timothy’s house to see if he was home, which he wasn’t. Naturally, that didn’t make me feel any better because then I realized that the two of them might actually be out together, and that made me sick.
    Then, even as I drove, quite slowly, toward home, I found myself craning my neck to peer down every single side street, searching for that familiar red Mustang classic that Timothy and his dad restored together. It’s an easy car to spot, but I didn’t see it anywhere. And, of course, this didn’t make me feel one bit better.
    I even started to dial Shawna’s home number on my cell phone, thinking I’d just wait to see if she’d answer, planning to hang up if she did. But I remembered they have caller ID at her house and decided not to risk it. But I did consider finding a pay phone and calling from there. Now, I ask you, how lame is that?

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    I SERIOUSLY THINK I’ M BECOMING A STALKER . I SAW THIS SHOW ON TV once about