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everyone except Shawna seems to think he’s a total jerk anyway. And maybe he is, but that doesn’t seem to stop the way I feel about him. I mean, I’m kind of experiencing a love-hate thing at the moment. But I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s like he’s stuck in my heart somehow. I suppose it could simply be my obsessive-compulsive nature just caught in a groove and unable to get out. But I don’t think so. I think it’s just that I still love him.
    Ashley and I finally finished our clean-a-thon by midafternoon. “Let me take you to lunch,” offered Ashley. “It’s the least I can do to thank you. And I have to stop by the mall to check on my mom’s shop. I got someone else to fill in for me today, but I’d better make sure nothing’s gone wrong over there.”
    I leaned back into the comfortable seat of Ashley’s car. It’s an almost-new Honda Accord and in much better shape than my old VW Bug. And Ashley had given me what was actually a pretty cool T-shirt to wear.
    “Believe it or not, it used to fit me,” she’d told me, laughing as she looked down at her well-endowed chest. “I’d only worn it once and then my mom accidentally washed it in hot water. We’re talking serious ShrinkyDink. But I liked it so much that I couldn’t stand to throw it away.”
    Personally, I was glad that she hadn’t.
    I turned and looked at Ashley as she drove toward town. I’ve never really thought about it much, since Ashley and I have never been real close before, but I could see now that she’s actually very pretty with her straight auburn hair and big brown eyes.
    “Have you ever been dumped like that, Ashley?” I asked as she turned toward the mall.
    “Are you kidding?” she laughed. “Sheesh, lots of times.”
    “Really? I figured you’d be the one to do the dumping.”
    “Yeah, well, I’ve done that too.”
    “Did you ever get dumped by someone you really liked?”
    She was quiet for about a minute and then nodded. “You probably don’t remember, but Brett and I used to go out.”
    “Oh, yeah,” I said. “I do remember that. What happened?”
    She shrugged. “What usually happens?”
    “Huh?”
    “You know. Same old, same old.”
    “That’s just it, Ashley,” I told her rather emphatically. “I don’t know. To be perfectly honest, I’m still kind of new at this.”
    She turned and looked at me and then smiled—a sincere smile. “You’re really a sweet girl, Jordan. It’s almost a shame.”
    I frowned. “A shame?”
    “That you’ve gotten yourself mixed up in this crowd.”
    “Huh?” Now I was really feeling lost.
    She sighed, and for some reason it reminded me of a sound that an old woman who was bone tired or perhaps just jaded by life might make. “Sometimes I just get so sick of high school, Jordan, that I think it’ll be so great to finally graduate and get on with my life.”
    Now, I don’t usually feel like that myself. I mean, usually—and especially this fall—I thought that high school was so cool that I wanted it to last, like, forever. But after what happened last night, I think maybe I understand what she’s saying. “But at least you’re a junior,” I reminded her.
    “Yeah, only a freaking year and a half until I get to escape.” Then she laughed. “Sorry. I guess I’m still bummed about that stupid party.” She shook her head as she turned into the mall parking lot. “Live and learn.”
    At lunch I probably went on a little too long about Timothy and Shawna, but Ashley was fairly patient with me, probably because I’d been so helpful in getting her house back together.
    But finally she said, “You know, Jordan, you need to just let it go.”
    “Let it go?”
    “Uh-huh. Let it go .”
    “How do you do that?”
    “You’ve just got to get on with your life.”
    “What if I can’t?” I noticed I was biting the edge of a fingernail, something I thought I’d given up ages ago. I put my hands in my lap and looked at her.
    “Well, then ask