she talked to you?â she asks.
âNo, I think sheâs pretty upset about how things went down last night.â
Ruthann lets go of my arm and waves her hand around like sheâs preparing to fence with me without using a sword.
âHer round-offs suck. And so do her toe touches. Itâs my job to tell her that.â
I take another drink of water and look out at the basketball court. Some of the girls are gathering at our starting positions.
âBut I think you hurt her feelings,â I say. Even in Joyâs absence, I want to prove to her that Iâm not a fake person.
âAm I just supposed to stand back and let her suck?
Great strategy, Molly. I bet the judges will love to see one
member sucking so badly. Maybe we could get a trophy
for that. Do they give a trophy for almost-first-place-except-
you-had-a-member-who-sucked?â
Ruthann needs to get a life. Or keep this life and begin seeking out a career in improving peopleâs flexibility by making them feel like utter crap.
âWhy are you looking at me like that?â Ruthann asks.
I shrug. âI should probably take my spot.â I watch as Deidre trips and almost falls. And then I hear myself asking a question that I thought I was only thinking. âYouâre going to give me Deidreâs triangle point, right? Youâre just waiting until the last minute? Making me sweat it out?â
Ruthann snorts. âIs that all you care about? What about the fact that Iâm losing a paycheck every week now?â
âI care,â I say. âBut thereâs really nothing I can do.â
âOf course there is,â Ruthann says. âEither you or Joy need to talk to Tate and tell him it was a big misunderstanding. Preferably, both of you should. Okay?â
âCan we discuss this later?â I ask.
âAbsolutely,â Ruthann says. âIâll drive you home after school.â
I return to my spot, walking across the cushioned gymnastics mats. My stomach feels knotted.
âAre you sick?â Deidre asks me.
I shake my head. And the world moves double-time.
âYou look pale,â Deidre says.
âI donât tan well,â I say.
âIâm not joking,â Deidre says. âI think you need fresh air.â
âYeah,â I say. âThe room is so hot.â
âItâs regular temperature,â Deidre says. âI think thereâs something wrong with you.â
âNo,â I say.
I am now looking at two Deidres. And I feel like I might throw up. I donât want to vomit on the court. Then Iâll be the dayâs gossip. I run into the hallway and slam open the bathroom door. I barely make it to the trash can before I hurl up my banana. I always sort of knew that one day Ruthann Culpepper would make me puke.
While my head is still inserted in the trash can, a toilet flushes and Sadie exits one of the stalls. She glances at me. I havenât seen Sadie, I mean, really seen her, in weeks. Her hair is down, and sheâs wearing a plain gray T-shirt. No jewelry. Sadie hardly ever wears jewelry. When it comes to fashion, sheâs just so mellow.
âAre you okay?â she asks.
I donât really know what to say. I know sheâs only talking to me because she feels like sheâs supposed to, not because she actually wants to have a conversation with me.
âIâm puking,â I say.
âI can see that,â Sadie says. âDo you need any help?â
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
âItâs basically a one-woman job,â I say.
âIâm trying to be nice to you,â Sadie says. âIs dance team practice too intense?â
Iâm not on the dance team. Iâm on the drill team. And sheâs aware of that. Our dance team carries weird streamers, wears unitards, and are mocked relentlessly. I know, because Sadie and I used to mock them.
âIâm actually on the drill team and