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waiting sedan.
    John held the door open for his wife
and Amy. From the backseat of the car, she struggled to keep up
with the pleasant conversation when the same thought kept echoing
in her mind.
    How did I
not know it was Jack's birthday?
    Even more troubling,
how had Amy
never known Jack had killed Emily on his
birthday?
    Jack hadn't enjoyed his
birthday in exactly four years. His family understood
this and thankfully, never pestered him to change the way
he felt about this particular anniversary. His parents
and sister called to say happy birthday, but they tried to keep the
celebration to a minimum. He was thankful for their
consideration and restraint.
    After all, he still had to
remind himself, from time to time, there was no way
he could have swerved out of the way to avoid
hitting Emily. It was a numbers game and the physics
of it still haunted him. So how could he be
expected to celebrate the very anniversary of her
death?
    Impossible.
    He'd tried to focus on the good
thoughts when it came to Amy. The end of the semester
loomed ahead of them, and he'd lose her. He
didn't know how much of
her he'd lose. But Jack was sure she'd move
out.
    Then what?
    So he fixed his mind on what
he knew for sure: He liked having her around. He liked
the way she drank his coffee as if he'd produced gold
from the espresso machine. He liked the messy way she spread her
papers all over the living room and dining room to study. He liked
how she insisted on watching scary movies even
though it meant she'd sleep with the light on
for days after.
    He liked the way she smelled—vanilla
and honey.
    What he didn't like was the
fear he felt. He was going to lose
her entirely.
    The sun was setting when he
and Tom returned to the farm. It took an hour to unload
the equipment and set it up in the barn.
    Jack became suspicious when
he saw both Chris and Tyler were still on site.
He checked his watch. It was rare for them to
stay at the farm so late in the day.
    “Come up to the house,” Tyler
insisted.
    Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “No,
I think I'm ready to head back to town. It was a
long day on the road.”
    “Come on,” Chris said,
laughing.
    Jack was backing up toward
his truck when Terri, having heard them outside, opened
the sliding screen door to the house and hollered. “Jack, would you
come inside already?
    Everyone is waiting!”
    He would have run out on
Tyler and Chris on some lame excuse, but he couldn't disappoint
Terri. His two friends gave him meaningful looks as they
walked back up to the house.
    As he entered the dining room, he
mustered up a smile. Terri had apparently gone to
some trouble to put together a dinner party for his birthday. The
table overflowed with cheese, meats, and beer.
Tom was busy in the kitchen, but he shouted with the rest
of them.
    “Surprise!”
    Jack was amazed at how Tom
seemed to have a never-ending supply of energy reserved.
Jack could barely keep steady on his feet.
He was tired from the
day. But here was Tom, shaving meat onto large
platters.
    Chris and Tyler were slapping
Jack's back and wishing him a happy birthday. The
Abbots were there too.
    And Amy.
    Someone had brought Amy to
celebrate on the anniversary of her sister's death. Jack pinned her
with his gaze, and he hoped his look conveyed all
apologies. She was smiling and clapping with the others,
but he could see what she was hiding. Her
face probably mirrored his own.
    When the
company had settled into natural conversation,
Jack noticed Amy had left the table for the
bathroom. He went to look for
her, feeling it was necessary to speak to her
private.
    He caught her in the hallway as
she was exiting the bathroom. She jumped, startled and he
stretched his arm out to grip her slight shoulder. “Sorry,” he
said, taking her upper arm with his free hand and guiding her to
stand with her back