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gone off to but I don’t anymore. I didn’t understand before, I do now. He left because he didn’t love us. It’s as simple as that. If he did love us then he wouldn’t have left because you don’t abandon the people you love.
     
    I wish I ‘d taken my own advice regarding Allen. I mean I didn’t love him but he was my boyfriend. I still feel guilty for leaving him there but the guy was pointing a gun to me, I had no choice. I didn’t want to die, let alone like that. So I just ran, ran as fast as I could without looking back. I just couldn’t stay. And the blood, there was blood everywhere.
     
    No. Don’t think about it.
     
    I closed my eyes for 5 minutes and kept walking. I couldn’t let myself think about Allen, not anymore.
C h a p t e r # 2
     
    I sit in my desk looking at my notebook. I’ve spent the last half-hour doodling on it while Mr. Johnson explained for the fourth time today that this year’s grades were obviously very important for college. He teaches advanced English, which is a class I was basically forced to take by my mother. Honestly I would’ve preferred regular English but mom was very insisting. Something about getting into a good college or whatever. However Mr. Johnson talks extremely slowly and I have no idea how much more of his babbling I can take. I was going to ask permission to go to the bathroom and instead walk around school when the bell rang.
     
    “Don’t forget to hand in your homework tomorrow students, enjoy lunch.” He says as we all leave.
     
    We have homework already? Man I wasn’t paying attention. I guess I’ll have to ask that weird kid Chandler for the assignment. Though it would be easier if he wasn’t such a pervert and stopped staring at my boobs.
     
    After I talked to Chandler who, like I predicted seemed to be staring about 7 inches lower from my face, I went to have lunch. The cafeteria was big and had windows everywhere. They had just remodeled this summer. Through them I noticed that the day had turned awfully grey and rainy. I would much rather be at home sleeping, to be honest I was a little hung-over like my brother said. Last night I got home around 1:00 a.m. because I was at this end of summer college party. It was one of the wildest parties I’ve ever been to. Everyone was either high or drunk or off having sex with someone. Though I think that’s how all college parties go. I met this one guy, Robert. He was really nice and seemed kinda into me but I probably wont ever see him again so I shouldn’t think about him.
     
    It was time to find somewhere to sit down. Most of the tables were already full and the ones that weren’t I wasn’t welcomed in. So I decided to sit alone. About 1 minute into it Charlotte and her bitch posse walked over to me. Well this is just great.
     
    “Hello loser how was your summer? Hold on, why ask? We all know all you did was stay home and cry to your mommy.” Charlotte said meanly.
     
    “Actually I was off going to parties and getting drunk. Of course you weren’t, you were too busy getting that fake nose and those fake boobs you fake bitch.” I answered bitterly.
     
    “Well they’re not any faker than you, liar. Please, you and parties? Two things that don’t go well together at all. ”
     
    “Just like you and slutty. Oh wait, they do. Syphilis was it? I can’t quite remember what the doctor told you when I bumped into you at the hospital clinic.”
     
    “Come on guys she’s lying.” She told the other girls. I could tell I hit a nerve. Then she turned to me.
     
    “You’re calling me a slut? Well you’re one to judge. How many guys has your mom brought home this summer, 30?”
     
    “You take that back.” Now she hit a nerve.
     
    “Guess you aren’t as tough as you seem.” She turned around and started to walk away when I shouted.
     
    “Clearly not as tough as you. I mean battling an STD and all. You must be pretty strong to handle that.”
     
    “You shouldn’t have gone