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as soon as it arrives. My heart is pounding, breath coming in shallow huffs. I break into a cold sweat that covers me identically to the way it does during my nightmares. He turns to take small hesitant steps toward the front door, I watch him move through the quaint modest living room, slowly. He stops with his hand on the door knob, something clicks in my mind and I have the overwhelming urge to bolt, so I do just that. As fast as I can in my weakened condition I run and slide in my socks on the stone floor which is how he catches me.
    “NO!” he roars and moving with superhuman speed he grabs me around the waist and slams me against the wall. I feel the weight of my body leave the floor and his fingers around my throat, choking me he’s crushing my larynx and I’m unable to make a sound while I struggle desperately to escape. I’m helpless and dangling inches off the floor, clawing at his arms leaving deep bloody gashes from his elbows to his wrists, over and over I claw.
    Darkness begins to close in and strangely the smell of homemade bread invades my senses while numbness tingles in my fingers and toes. Without warning he abruptly releases me and staggers back, stumbling over a coffee table, while my frail body slides down the wall and crumples on the floor. I gasp for breath trying to resupply my body with the oxygen it’s been deprived of and I try to focus and make sense of what the fuck has just happened.
    Stunned Evan is sprawled on the floor mere feet away from me scanning the room wild eyed and rapidly taking in the situation as if he had just arrived. I’m not waiting to see what comes next, no way, been there done that.  As soon as I’m able I crawl a few feet before using the wall to drag myself up and back to the bedroom slamming and locking the door. Not far enough, not secure enough…the window, I can get out through the window! I throw open the heavy grey curtains only to have my heart plummet almost as far as the drop I would have to make if I attempted to escape this way. Fuck me!! I whirl around and do the only thing left to do, I silently scurry across the floor when I hear him coming down the hall.  Go, go, go…run, run, run…hide, hide, hide!!
    The bathroom is small but the door is sturdy and it locks, I’m in. Weapons, I need to find something to protect myself with, I’m in full on survival mode now.  He’s almost here, I hear him rattling the bedroom door, not pounding or yelling just gently rattling off and on. Desperately searching the cabinets and under the sink for anything sharp I come up empty handed armed with only a can of some sort of aerosol cleaning spray.
    Not enough to keep a man from attacking, not a man of Evan’s stature, I’m not going through another round of torture. I stare at myself in the huge mirror over the sink and see bruising starting on my neck, finger marks on either side of my throat, petechiae spreading under my eyes and cheeks. He could have killed me. 
    The realization spurs another round of super self-preservation and I grab a hair dryer and smash the mirror into a million pieces. I whip a towel off the bar next to the tub and wrap the largest piece up half way so I don’t cut myself but I’m able to wield it as an effective weapon. If he makes it through the bedroom door, and then the bathroom door I’ll be ready. Trying and failing miserably to avoid cutting my feet I step into the white tub smearing blood all over the bottom of it. I squat down and wait…and wait…nothing.
    Silence, the only sound is my heavy breathing and thumping heart. After what feels like forever my breath begins to catch with every inhalation as quiet sobs begin to escape. I try so fucking hard to keep quiet, I don’t even know why.  It’s not like he can’t find me, there was only one place for me to go, but why isn’t he trying? Why isn't he breaking down the doors? What the fuck just happened here?!
    I’ve completely worn myself out, with not much reserve