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bring Tinkerbell ?"
    "That's her name? Geez what kind of
froufrou shit name is that for a dog?"
    "Uh, she's a girly girl, she has to have a
girly name, besides you're the one who bought her diamonds."
    "Right, it's my fault you're gonna give
the poor dog a complex with that pansy ass name."
    "Your daddy's silly."
    Damn right I'm the daddy.
Shit now I was happy to be the father of a fucking dog. Women made men stupid,
I'm convinced.
    "Whatever let's go, bring Tinks ’ carrier if you want or she'll probably tear the
place apart. I have all her stuff in the closet to go through later."
    "What kinda stuff?"
    "Just stuff that every dog needs."
Okay so I might've gone overboard with the dog stuff so sue me.
    "Okay." She followed me out the door
with her new pet in hand.

 
 
    Downstairs the others had
stirred. Dad and Petra were like two little kids shaking shit under the tree to
see if they could guess what it was. Every year it's the same thing with these
two. My older brother Julius and his bitch girlfriend Melanie weren't here this
year thank shit. They were visiting her family who lived in Italy of all
places, for the season. I'll miss my bro, but couldn't say I was sad to see the
bitch queen go.
    "Mom. Dad's shaking
stuff again!" I told on his ass.
    "Snitch!" He rubbed the top of my
head like I was six, making the girls laugh and Tinks yip her ass off.
    "Thaddeus get in here and leave that stuff
alone. We'll open gifts early this year, right after brunch."
    "Brunch, but I 'm hungry now, whatever
happened to breakfast?" I grouched on the way to the kitchen.
    "You be quiet and put on this
apron..."
    She got cut off which could only mean one
thing; he was kissing the hell out of her. My parents did that a lot, nasty.

 
 
    We spent the morning playing
with the dog. Well, the girls spent the morning playing with the dog I watched
them from my place on the couch, while mom and dad cooked away in the kitchen. Mom
has this thing about preparing holiday meals on her own, whatever works. Us
kids usually had KP duty at the end of the day to make up for it. Vicki seemed
happy enough, she loved that stupid dog I could tell. Then again knowing her
penchant for dogs...geez dude it's Xmas give it a rest. For just one day give
it a rest, don't let that douche destroy today too.

 
 
    Dinner was amazing as always.
We were all stuffed to the gills and since mom had pulled a fast one we didn't
end up opening gifts until afterwards. The blinking lights on the tree, which
had been off all day until now had Tinks in a tizzy.
When giftwrap paper was discarded she was in dog heaven. I just shook my head
my kid was not too bright.
    Vicki oohed and ached over her gifts, she got
some kind of fancy ass watch from mom, a date just, whatever the fuck that is.
It was pretty though, had some sort of flowers and shit made out of diamonds on
the gold strap.
    Dad gave her a new Birkin bag, correction, mom got her a bag and stuck dad's name on it. I'm sure my old
man didn't know the first thing about these things.
    "Lame dad, you know mom
totally picked that stuff." I teased him out of earshot of the others.
    "Dude I totally chose those out of a
magazine, I even chose the colors, each of the girls got one this year."
    "What, bargain basement shopping, two for
one?"
    "You're an idiot."
    "Takes one old man."
    "Natalia, your son is picking on me
again."
    "Roman leave your dad alone, you know how
he gets at Xmas, he's worst than a toddler. And Thaddeus please stop
whining."
    "Hey, he started it." My dad is a
real tool.
    I was enjoying the easiness
of the day. For the first time in what felt like months I could relax, I didn't
feel the need to be on alert. My girl was happy as fuck and she hadn't even
gotten all my gifts yet. I think she thought Tinks was her only gift this year.
    The women raked it in this year like they did
every year. Dad and I got mom and Petra tennis bracelets from Cartier with
dinner rings, whatever the fuck that meant. The sales