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myself on and off the dance floor?
    In a situation where the Bible does not clearly outline the choice I should make, I ask the Holy Spirit to inform my convictions. I believe that little hesitation in my heart about the dance move at the end of the routine was a nudge from the Holy Spirit.
    I told you in chapter 1 that I make choices based on what God’s Word says, what I sense the Holy Spirit is saying to my heart, and through the discernment and encouragement of wise people in my life. In this situation, Val played an active role in helping me think through my choices on the show, just like he does in “real life.” I showed him the tape of the rumba without letting him know about my concerns on the last move. He watched the dance and when it got to the move in question he said, “I don’t like that last move. I’m not sure it will be perceived well.” My response was, “Okay. Good. That was the one I was hesitating about, so if you feel that way too I will ask Mark to change it.”
    The Bible helped me know the importance of respecting my husband. The Holy Spirit nudged me that one element of the dance might not be perceived as doing that. So, I took it to my community—in this case, that was specifically my husband—and he lovingly encouraged me to make a change. The result was a conviction, or a decision, that part of the dance wasn’t a good fit for who I am and what I stand for. As a result, I asked Mark to change it. He honored that and adjusted the dance to make me more comfortable.
    What Submission Really Looks Like
    I’ve taken some heat for saying publicly that I believe the Bible calls me to submit to the leadership of my husband. The match that ignited that fire came from my book Balancing It All .
    My husband is a natural-born leader. I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work. 1
    That word submissive was talked about everywhere from The View to national news outlets like CNN and Fox and every magazine and blog in between after the book was released. That doesn’t surprise me. I recognize that we live in a culture where many see submission as old-fashioned and out-of-date. But my beliefs aren’t informed by the ever-changing winds of culture. My commitment to submission inside the context of marriage comes straight from God’s Word. (Recognize a pattern here?) Ephesians 5:22–24 says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.”
    The picture that’s painted here is beautiful! Women are to submit, or defer, to their husbands as a picture of our relationship with Christ. We surrender our lives to Him. We bend to His leadership in our lives. We hand over the reins and let Him lead. While I don’t do it perfectly, I can showcase what a life surrendered to Christ looks like through my marriage! But if you stop reading there, you miss part of the picture. I am convinced that the reason the culture reacts so strongly to this idea is because they only see half of the image God intends to draw through marriage.
    Ephesians 5:25 reveals the rest of the story: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
    Yes, the Bible urges me to submit to the leadership of my husband as an extension of my submission to Christ’s leadership in my life, but it also asks Val to love me in the same way that Christ loves the church. If you think submission is countercultural, look around and try to find sacrificial love! The Bible encourages Val to love me with the