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she is completely protected and anonymous.
    Our next step is to finalize the blood tests for Alex (he's got a date with the clinic tomorrow), and to choose the surrogate. In all honesty, I'm even more at a loss when it comes to that part. What attributes are critical for a surrogate? Good health, strong back and broad hips for easy birth? I don't know, but I hope the clinic in Mumbai will help us with that part…
    For now, I leave you and bid you a fond evening and a good start to a brand new week!

 

May 31, 2012: Surrogacy: Acronyms and legal stuff...
     
    Yesterday, the lawyers got involved, and as is with lawyers, they have a tendency to take the fun out of everything. We were granted “access” to a great number of forms which need to be downloaded, printed, filled in, scanned, e-mailed back and prepared for delivery when traveling to India.
    The first form shocked me. It’s a “nominee” form, which has to be filled in by two people. It is basically like a “godparent” agreement, in case Alex and I can't take delivery (what a terrible word) of the baby because of an accident, death, or what have you.
    From the agency's perspective, this is extremely important. Why would they create life, go through all the motions and then get stuck with it? But in all honesty, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind.
    Vulnerable as we are in this process, putting our dreams in the hands of other people (again) is tough. What if they refuse to sign? After all, this is a significant undertaking, IF…
    Since I'll be the 'first' parent, we hope that Alex may be one of the nominees, but I have yet to receive word back from Mumbai on this.
    Then there are forms about freezing my sperm, the admission form to the hospital, a 15 page legal agreement between us and the agency and it goes on and on and on from there…
    Then, of course, there is the looming decision about the surrogate mother. I've had a look at that “catalogue” (we don't have to make the decision yet and the women available during our timeline may vary) and it is full of acronyms. IP, SI, ED, SD, SM are the easy ones. Intended parents (that would be Alex and I), Surrogacy India - our agency, Egg donor, Sperm donor and Surrogate mother. But then there are a great many other acronyms that I look at and understand zilch (and I have yet to find a definition or an explanation). But, you learn as you go along, and so far, so good. Things seem on track.
    Even snafus, such as the Indian embassy not being happy with the photo I provided, sending back my visa application, encouraging me to get professional ones done, followed by re-sending the application to Stockholm. Or the fact that I'll need 4 (!) additional photographs for the agency, forcing me to call back my photographer to order an extra set (as I had only three pic left). I think I've arrived at this stage of phlegmatic, for lack of a better word. I just take orders, fill in forms, sign, scan & e-mail, no questions asked. LOL It just makes my emotional life so much easier.
    As is with these 'legal' things, sometimes one thing requires another and until “another” (whatever that may be) isn't taken care of, things are complicated. But, alas, phlegmatic Hans doesn't care. He just fills in form after form, scans and e-mails! :) mi vida…

  

June 5, 2012: I am hurt...
     
    I celebrated my birthday yesterday. A day of joy with literally hundreds of congratulations from people all over the world through phone calls, text messages, etc. I am truly blessed to live among people who care so much about me.
    Last night, enjoying a fabulous dinner with my husband, we talked about recent events, as people do. When we got to talking about the boy we lost, the pain and hurt all bubbled up again, particularly in conjunction with the recent LGBT-festival that was concluded the other day in a big parade.
    Thing is, in Sweden, biological parents have a lot of clout. That's perhaps not strange, I guess they have it everywhere,