been hired from something called a âhouse of public accommodation.â Finally the main officer set a glass of champagne on the head of the nicest French girl and said, âAll the women in France belong to us!â
âAny pictures?â Bruce asked.
Amos ignored the question. âSo then, after this insult, the girl gets her composure and says, â
I?
I am not a woman. I am only a strumpet, and that is all that Prussians want.ââ
Bruce looked at him blankly. âSo?â
âIsnât that creepy? That she would have to say that about herself?â
Bruce stared at him for a while. âMaybe youâre reading too much into it.â
Amos kept thinking about it.
âI like that
strumpet
word, though,â Bruce said. âKind of sounds like a dessert for grownups.â Besides his photographic memory of sports trivia, Bruce Crookshank had one other highly prized talent. He could imitate almost anyoneâs voice of either gender and any age. Now he threw his voice into the husky register of a male middle-aged New Yorker. âIâd like coffee, brandy, and a French strumpet, please.â
Amos rolled his eyes. âAnyhow, the Prussian officer goes ballistic and slaps the woman, and, presto, she stabs him in the neck with a table knife.â
âNow weâre talking,â Bruce said. âRead that part. Make it dramatic.â
Upstairs the phone rang, and they could hear Amosâs big sister crossing the dining room to get it.
Amos found his place. ââSomething that the officer was going to say was cut short in his throat, and he sat there with his mouth half-open and a terrible look in his eyes.ââ
When Amos looked up from the book, Bruce was slumped on the floor acting the part of the dead man.
âIf youâre dead, Crook, my prayers are answered.â
A few seconds later, the door at the head of the basement stairs opened and Amosâs sister, Liz, poked her head in and said, âThat was your brother, Crooky-poo. He says the Judge is on the prowl, and if youâre not home in fifteen minutes, your little dingerâs in the wringer. Or words to that effect.â She slammed the door before a rebuttal could be composed. The Judge was Bruceâs father.
Bruce looked at Amos. âGuess your folks arenât home for her to talk like that.â
âTheyâre off at the doctorâs,â Amos said.
Bruce turned and yelled up through the floorboards. âGives me goose bumps, Elizabeth, when you talk dirty like that!â
Amos tossed the book on the floor. âHey, Crook, did I mention sighting the Elusive One walking on Banner Ave. today?â
Bruce wheeled around. âYou sighted Anne Barrineau?â
Amos nodded. âThe one and only.â
âSpecifics, please.â
Amos smiled and stretched. Bruce, along with half the guys at Melville, spent a lot of idle moments fantasizing about Anne Barrineau. âOkay, letâs see,â Amos said. âWalking alone. Headed due west. Approximately three miles per hour.â
Bruce took this in slowly. âWhat was she wearing?â
âA sweater, tights, long coat, and, letâs see, two matching shoes. Also, I imagine, underwear.â
âYeah,â Bruce said, âI imagine, too.â
Amos grinned. âYeah, I imagine you do.â
Amos stood, went over to the window, and stared out into the dusk. It was a view he liked, the window sunken into a light well at yard level so it was like you were lying on your stomach seeing things. Heâd been staring out for a while before he realized that a girl was standing by the gate, very still and quiet, just staring up at the house. It was Clara Wilson. Amos instinctively stepped back. âTurn off the lights,â he said in a tight whisper to Bruce.
âWhat?â
âThe lights. I donât want her to see us.â
The lights went off, and Amos edged back