Read Conversation in the Cathedral for Free Online

never seen it,” Santiago said. “Do you think it drives women crazy?”
    “One of Sparky’s stories,” Popeye whispered. “Did he tell you it drives them crazy?”
    “It does, but if you lay a hand on them you could turn them into a corpse, Sparky boy,” Ambrosio said. “Don’t get me into any trouble. Remember that if your papa catches on to it, I’ve had it.”
    “And did he tell you that with one spoonful any female would throw herself at you?” Popeye whispered. “Stories, Skinny.”
    “It would have to be tested,” Santiago said. “Even if only to see if it’s true, Freckle Face.”
    He was silent, with an attack of nervous laughter, and Popeye laughed too. They nudged each other, the hard thing was to find the one to do it with, excited, worn out, that was it, and the table and the milk shakes trembled with the quivering: they were crazy, Skinny. What had Sparky told him when he gave it to him? Sparky and Santiago got on like cat and dog and whenever he could Sparky played dirty tricks on Skinny and Skinny on Sparky whenever he could: it was probably one of your brother’s dirty tricks, Skinny. No, Freckle Face, Sparky had come home like an Easter angel, I won a lot of money at the track, and what was unheard of, before going to bed he went into Santiago’s room to give him some advice: it’s time for you to shake yourself up, aren’t you ashamed of still being a virgin, a big man like you? and he offered him a cigarette. Don’t be scared, Sparky said, have you got a girl friend? Santiago lied that he did and Sparky, worried: it’s time to devirginize you, Skinny, it really is.
    “Haven’t I been asking you all the time to take me to a whorehouse?” Santiago said.
    “You might catch something and the old man would kill me,” Sparky said. “Besides, real men earn what they get, they don’t pay for it. You play the know-it-all and you’re up on the moon when it comes to females, Superbrain.”
    “I don’t play the know-it-all,” Santiago said. “I attack when I’m attacked. Come on, Sparky, take me to a whorehouse.”
    “Then why do you argue with the old man so much? You get him all upset opposing everything he says.”
    “I only oppose him when he starts defending Odría and the militarists ,” Santiago said. “Come on, Sparky.”
    “And why are you against the military?” Sparky asked. “What the fuck has Odría ever done to you?”
    “They came to power by force,” Santiago said. “Odría’s put a lot of people in jail.”
    “Only Apristas and Communists,” Sparky said. “He’s really been gentle with them. I would have shot them all. The country was a mess under Bustamante, decent people couldn’t work in peace.”
    “Then you’re not a decent person,” Santiago said, “because in Bustamante ’s time you were bumming around.”
    “You’re asking for a whack, Superbrain,” Sparky said.
    “I’ve got my ideas and you’ve got yours,” Santiago said. “Come on, take me to a whorehouse.”
    “The whorehouse is out,” Sparky said, “but I will help you work it out with a woman.”
    “And do they sell yohimbine in drugstores?” Popeye asked.
    “Under the counter,” Santiago said. “It’s kind of illegal.”
    “A little bit in a Coca-Cola, on a hot dog,” Sparky said, “and you wait for it to take effect. When she starts to get a little restless then it’s up to you.”
    “How old do they have to be for you to give it to them, just for example, Sparky?” Santiago asked.
    “You wouldn’t be dumb enough to give it to a ten-year-old.” Sparky laughed. “You can to one who’s fourteen, but just a little. Except that at that age it won’t make it easier for you, you’ll get into a crazy mess.”
    “Is it real?” Popeye asked. “Couldn’t he have given you a little salt or sugar?”
    “I tested it with the tip of my tongue,” Santiago said. “It hasn’t got any smell, it’s a powder with a little bite to it.”
    On the street there was