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speaking.  I turn and go to our bedroom,  locking the door, and grab my suitcase. Tears are streaming down my face as I start slinging clothes into it.  Bending over to pick up some socks that had fallen,  the light glints off my pendant, and I grab it and rip it off throwing into the corner.
    A knock on the door brings me back to reality, it's Jeff, wanting to come in. "Jasmine, let me in so we can talk," he says.
    "I don't want to talk to you," I reply between sobs.
    "Jasmine, damn it, I'm sorry...I'm stupid," he says angrily.
    "I don't care how sorry you are, I am done, you have crossed a fucking line," I snarl. He pounds on the door and I can hear the stream of obscenities coming from him as he goes out to his truck. He slams on the gas once he's in it, and backs up haphazardly, knocking over the trashcans. I run down the hallway and grab my coat and cell phone.  I'm in the kitchen when Vanessa comes in.
    "Jas," she says. I shake my head and point to the door. 
    Loading everything I can into my car, I jump in and crank it up. I don't know where I'm going, I just have to go. Calling a couple hotels on the way,  my frustration turns to hurt. Just driving around looking for one with a vacancy, as everything replays in my head, makes my chest hurt.  Deep down I knew he had cheated before but I had never caught him and never had any hard proof.
    I pull into the parking lot of the hotel I found and just sit there and cry. After fifteen minutes I gather myself and check into my room. The old ratty curtains aren't much and the faded floral bedspread looks ancient, but it's clean and I'm away from Jeff. 
    I bring in my suitcase and plop down on the bed and exhaustion takes over. When I wake up the room is dark, the only light coming from the dim hotel sign. I reach over and grab my phone. Seeing I have about twenty missed calls, all of them Jeff. 
    Pulling out the old phonebook, I flip to the back and find a pizza place that delivers. After I order I wander to the bathroom and look at my reflection, the streaks of black mascara running down my cheeks flip something within me.  In my life I've never felt so vulnerable and weak even under the soul crushing blows from my father.  I glance at my watch and notice I've got about fifteen minutes until my pizza arrives so I jump in the shower. The warm water runs down me drowning every emotion I feel. For the first time, I'm numb.
    I step out and dress quickly, wrapping a towel around my damp hair. About the time I sit down and turn on the TV there's a knock at the door. Not thinking, I open the door and jump when I see his face and the anger his eyes hold. I try to slam the door on him but he's too strong. When he pushes on the door again I'm launched back onto the floor from the sheer force.
    "Jasmine, you need to hear me out," he says taking another swig of from the bottle in his hand before shutting the door.
    "I told you Jeff, I’m done," I say trying to keep my voice level. He walks up and stands over me and laughs.
    "All I see is fear in your eyes. You're afraid of me aren't you?" He asks.
    I shake my head and try to slide back to the edge of the bed to get away from him. His face grows dark and he reaches down grabbing me around the throat. Tears begin to flow from my eyes and my vision starts to blur as he grips my throat possessively. I feel nothing but death breathing down on me. A cold chill takes over as my eyes flutter open and shut from my air supply being limited. I don’t want to think about what I am feeling.  I can’t. I feel my body quaking, fluttering erratically inside. Adrenaline surges through me and my reflexes kick in.  I fight with everything in me not to pass out.
    "Stop fighting me," he screams just centimeters from my face. In that moment I realize that I've knocked the whiskey bottle from his hand.  As he continues to choke me he begins ripping off my clothes. He puts his head down to my cheek and runs his nose down to my neck, kissing it as