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were everywhere, fondling, touching, pulling, kneading. 
    I gulp.
    I never ever ever knew that fucking could be like that.  And it was fucking.  You can’t call it making love when there was no love involved.  But it was soft and sensuous, then hard and rough, then soft again.  I swallow hard, my fingers touching my neck.  At one point, after Shade released my handcuffs, he fucked me from behind and held me in place by the back of my neck.
    It was hard and rough and primal.
    And I liked it. 
    What is wrong with me??
    I push off the covers and step over my going-out clothes that I had discarded on the floor.  I slept naked for the first time in a very long time. Actually, make that ever. 
    There is nothing wrong with me, I decide as I stare into the mirror and brush my teeth. 
    I’m a healthy, red-blooded female.  I like sex.  I have every right to explore this new side of me. .I scrub my teeth vigorously as I debate internally with my conscious. 
    I don’t need to feel guilty.  I did nothing wrong. 
    I glare at myself and then spit.
    And then as I straighten back up, Sophie’s alarmed face is behind me in the mirror.
    “Mom!  Geez!  Put some clothes on. God!”
    She turns away as she slaps a hand over her eyes and I feel blood rushing to my cheeks while I reach for a robe. 
    “I’m sorry, Soph.  I didn’t know you were back so soon. Wait.  Why am I apologizing?  It’s my bathroom.  If you knocked first, you wouldn’t be surprised.”
    I paste a nonchalant look on my face and turn around.
    Sophie is staring at me. 
    “Where did you go last night wearing those shoes?”
    She points to my pile of discarded clothing. 
    “Oh. Sara and I just went out dancing last night.  We needed to blow off some steam.  Did you have fun at your dad’s?  Why are you home so early? I thought you weren’t coming home until tomorrow.”
    Rick doesn’t take her for his weekends as often as he can.  In fact, he rarely does. And Sophie does a good job of acting like she doesn’t care.  But I know she does. And it makes me want to put those stilettos back on and march over to his freaking condo and impale him squarely in the ass. 
    Sophie sighs, bringing me back to the present and away from my murderous thoughts. 
    “Daddy had to work today, apparently.  I didn’t want to sit in his condo all day because there’s nothing to do there.  So I asked him to bring me here on his way to work.  Was that okay?  He’s going to pick me back up on his way home.”
    She’s looking at me worriedly and I rush to reassure her, even though I don’t relish the thought of seeing Rick today. In fact, a little bile rises up in my throat, sour and acidic.  But I swallow it and nod.
    “Of course, sweetie.  That’s fine. I’m always glad to have you home.”
    Her face is instantly relieved and then slips once more into the self-assured teen that she is. 
    “I thought maybe we could go shopping today, if you don’t have anything to do. We can have a mother/daughter day.  I need some black jeans.  What do you think?”
    I scrunch up my nose as I dig through my dresser drawer for my own jeans. 
    “Hmm.  It depends.  If they aren’t $400 jeans, then maybe.  If they are, then you need to ask your dad.”
    Sophie laughs, as though she’d never ask me to buy something so ridiculous.  We both know that isn’t the case. 
    “Please, mom.  We can have lunch too.  And maybe get our nails done.”
    I sigh.  I can literally feel the money flying out of my wallet as we speak. But I love my daughter.  And as usual, when she wants something, I have a really hard time saying no.
    “Fine,” I sigh, as I reach for my favorite stretched out, faded sweatshirt.  It’s the one that I’ve had since college and long ago cut the collar out so that it hangs off my shoulders.  It’s as old as the hills and does nothing for my figure, but I love it in spite of that fact.   
    “Fine,” I repeat.  “I needed some